There are dozens of different reasons for why I wasn’t able to get into the gym and maintain my health. And unlike the arrogant, self-important, idiotic blogs out there who go crazy telling people that they are their own worst enemy, I fully realize and accept that nearly every single one of my reasons for delaying the focus on my health was valid. I realize and accept this because I’m a realistic person who understands that not everyone is in a personal, professional, or financial position to drop everything and work out like a maniac every single day. If you read any “health” blogs that tell you that all of your excuses for not working out are bullshit, then I highly recommend that you stop reading that website and find a blog where real people congregate and talk about fitness. For my part, just as I realize that not all excuses are bullshit I also realize that many of the excuses that prevented me from working out in the past are no longer valid.

I go to a gym in the basement of the Monmouth Mall in Eatontown.

And since those restrictions are no longer in place, I recently started going to the gym again on a regular basis. I had to make some big changes in my approach to working out since 2004 and 2005. For example, I lost those 125 pounds by going to the gym once each morning for a swim and then again each night to do either cardio or weightlifting before taking another nighttime swim. Those were probably two of the healthiest years that I had as a young adult and even after losing 125 pounds I was still probably 80 pounds away from the government suggested “healthy” weight for my age and height. Unfortunately, the gym with the massive swimming pool is no longer in business and so swimming is not part of my new workout routine. In fact, I can’t even go to the gym after my workday is over because of other employment and volunteer obligations. And the truth is that the long commute and spending most of my day sitting behind a desk is absolutely exhausting, so I’ve switched my primary workout time to the morning… early in the morning. Very early in the morning! I always woke up early, but now I’m getting up at about 5:00am and leaving to go to the gym at about 5:45am which allows me to workout from about 6:00am until about 7:00am. I’ve found that the hour I give myself in the gym in the morning is all that I really need to get myself pumped up and going for the day.

On that topic, I’ve decided to change up my approach to going to the gym. For instance, instead of trying to find a few free moments to go and work out everyday, I’ve committed myself to going to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday only. Can I go on another day if the feeling hits me? Sure. Why not? Am I crazy if I can’t go on one of those three days each week? Well, I haven’t missed one yet so I don’t know. However, I know that I’ll be in Washington, DC for work next Monday and that I obviously won’t be able to go to the gym that day – so I guess we’ll see! Of course, I’ll probably try to use the gym in the hotel where I’m staying, but that’s another story because some hotel gyms are a total disaster.

The other big change that I’m doing this time around at the gym is I’m moving my focus off of cardio for now. I’m a big guy and one of the reasons why I’m a big guy is because I used to lift a lot of weight when I was in high school. At one point, I was bench pressing 385 pounds and squatting 660 pounds. No normal-sized high school student is able to put up those numbers – especially some 15 years ago when I was doing it before these silly supplements became popular. The only supplement that I needed was the pasta and meatloaf that my Dad used to make for dinner. That’s it! Anyway, I’m a big guy and every time that I’ve attempted to lose weight since those high school days I’ve hyperfocused on doing much more cardio than weight training. I’m not doing that this time for two reasons. First, I always enjoyed lifting weights. Maybe it was because I was always lifting a lot more weight than my peers or maybe it was because I enjoyed the pumped up feeling that you get after a good weight training session. But for whatever reason, I enjoy weightlifting and if I’m going to the gym at 6am, then I’m doing something that I enjoy, period. Second, over the last decade I haven’t been the most successful in losing weight by just sticking to heavy cardio with light lifting except for when I was swimming twice a day. Proper weight training not only builds and works out your muscles (a side effect of which is making it easier to move this big body around each and every day), but it also helps burn calories to aid in weight loss.

If you’re interested in seeing the weightlifting routine that I’m doing, then you can check it out by clicking here. If you scroll down on that page to the Version 2 workout, then you’ll see the routine that I’m using each week. Much different from the approach that I thought I was going to take back in June. What you’ll notice about the workout routine that I’m following is that it is a short workout. I try not to spend any longer than an hour in the gym between lifting the weights that are noted in that Version 2 workout and doing between 10 and 20 minutes of cardio (split with half at the beginning of my workout and half at the end).

Eventually, I’ll move on to an intermediate workout, but not yet. I’m enjoying getting reacquainted with the gym and the different machines that I haven’t used in ages. It’s fun. Once I feel like the gym is a second home again like it used to be, then I’ll begin expanding my “beginner’s workout” into a more intermediate routine (and beyond). And when that time comes I’m sure that I’ll write about it and discuss it here. For now, though, I’m content with the beginner’s routine so don’t look for that entry any time soon.

That’s the update for now. I’ve gone to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in September. The soreness that comes along with starting to lift weights is all gone and I feel stronger and more able to move around. I’m definitely not close to “mid-season form” (a reference for all of the current and former athletes out there), but I feel good; I feel much better than I did even just a month ago. Will I be able to maintain these Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning workout routines over the long-term? I don’t know for sure, but I know that I’m enjoying them right now. I have no intention of stopping the workouts, so I guess we’ll see how far this thing goes and whether it does anything to move the bar on my health. I have a doctor’s appointment next Friday – so we’ll know soon.

If you’re really in the mood, you can read about the swamp thing (which, by the way, brought up the memory of this guy and made me almost throw up re-reading the entry), the return of the clod hoppers, the bald creeper who uses the blow dryer to dry himself off after a shower, the lady who sings along with her iPod, the second creepiest guy that I’ve ever encountered at a gym – the mouth-breathing metal head, or the funniest type of person that I’ve ever seen at a gym – the guy with Imaginary Lat Syndrome (it’s an epidemic, folks).

The inside of a Planet Fitness - not my Planet Fitness, though. I just found this picture on Bing.

Once you read through all of that old content (some of those entries are more than 6 years old!), you can even skip ahead to earlier this year when I encountered a little old lady who was wearing an immense amount of perfume while on a bicycle at the gym. She wasn’t annoying, though. Actually, she was a sweetheart – you gotta love a little old lady coming all dolled up to the gym to work out.

Now, as many of you may recall, the gym that I attend now is nicknamed the “Judgment Free Zone” so before I wrote this entry, I had to really think about whether or not I was “judging” the people I would be writing about. And while that process was an interesting, introspective look on how I view people around me while I’m working out (seriously, give it a shot yourself some time – I found the introspection very insightful), I came to the conclusion that my new observations aren’t really negative judgments on these people. What’s more, through this introspection I found that I really didn’t encounter anybody at my new gym who was annoying or worthy of disgust or disdain. Talk about a refreshing change of pace!

However, I did realize that there were at least a handful of entertaining characters that I’ve observed at the new gym and I wanted to share them with you in this entry. So, in my “judgment free” way, here I go!

The Mayor of the Gym. This guy is entertaining to watch. You all know that guy who is the “Mayor” of the [insert local gathering place here]. Usually, my friends and I talk about who is the “Mayor” of this bar or the “Mayor” of that bar. The “Mayor” of any particular place is the guy who walks around and talks to everyone, trying to make friends or strengthening his existing friendships that he made during previous gym visits. Well, as my frequency of attending this new gym has increased, I’ve definitely figured out who is the “Mayor” of the gym. He’s a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. He even gave me a head nod one day, which I thought was nice. But there is something funny about observing a guy who talks to almost every person at the gym in a friendly, fun kind of way.

The Desperate Clod Hopper. Go back and re-read some of my old entries to figure out what a clod hopper is (in short, it’s the person on the treadmill who doesn’t pick up their feet and thus romps and stomps his or her way to a very loud cardio workout). Well, the other day I was at the gym in the late morning and there weren’t that many people there. The gym has some 30 or so treadmills all lined up in a row so when there aren’t that many people there, you don’t need to get right next to someone and workout on top of them. There’s ample space and certainly ample machinery to make the workout fun without awkwardly invading another person’s space.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, but while I was there doing my own treadmill workout I saw a younger guy (probably in his late 20’s) walk into the gym and hop up on a treadmill that was right next to a young woman. Now granted, the girl was hot – I’ll give him that because it’s true. But isn’t there something inherently weird about getting on a treadmill right next to the hot girl at the gym when there are literally 25 other treadmills that you can get on? Reminding myself to be “judgment free,” I thought nothing of it and kind of got a kick out of it. But then it happened – he started clod hopping.

Boom! Bam! Boom! Bam! Boom! Bam! I actually had to look twice to see if it was him who was romping and stomping on the treadmill! Then, keeping with that “judgment free” spirit, I thought to myself, “Whoa. This kid is going to have a hard time getting that girl to give him the time of day after all of that clod hopping.” And then I went about my business, but made sure to go workout on a different side of the gym than this guy because who really wants to hear all of that banging around anyway?

The Ridiculous Blowout Kid. A few years ago, I would have probably gotten really mad at seeing this type of person at the gym. However, when I went to the gym a few months ago and noticed a young kid (probably in his late teens/early 20’s) with a blowout hair cut that was as full of gel and/or grease as I’ve ever seen, I actually had to restrain myself from laughing out loud. Now, now – I wasn’t laughing at him (remember, I’m keeping a “judgment free” mindset). But I was laughing at the sight of a young kid walking into the gym with hair that literally stood about five inches off of his head. Imagine the gross sweat that must roll off of that head! Blech!

The Guy Who Does Weird Workouts, Front and Center. I didn’t really know how to quantify this guy when I saw him the other day, but I figured the best way to report him to you all was to report what I saw. There was a guy at the gym who strategically stood in a part of the dumbbell area that is pretty much the “front and center” of the gym. While he was there, he did the oddest, most bizarre collection of workouts that I’ve ever seen.

Hear me out – I’ve seen all different types of plyometric workouts when I played football. I’ve seen just about every type of endurance workout when I wrestled. I’ve seen almost every different workout that relates anything to sports and athletes. And then I saw this guy. I can barely explain what I saw because it was so weird. For example, this guy was holding onto a curling bar and seemingly try to jump up over his own head while holding it. I’ve never seen anything like that before, but I – and everyone else at the gym that day – was treated to some entertaining workout routine!

The Kids BS’ing Instead of Working Out. The only thing that distracted me from watching that guy’s weird workout was trying to hold back the laughing as these young teenagers (definitely kids out of school for the summer) sat around near the dumbbells for about 30 minutes and doing next to nothing while sitting there. I happened to be on the stationary bike directly in front of these kids so I had a front row seat to absolutely nothing. It was pretty amazing, actually, when you consider that there were people all over the gym and everyone was getting a good workout. Just another example of kids needing someplace to go and something to do with their free time, I guess.

And that’s about it, folks. I have more observations, but they are general in nature. For example, there aren’t any creepy guys crawling around the locker rooms at this gym (thank God), there aren’t any muscleheads being overly aggressive in some steroid-fueled rage, and there aren’t really that many gym-goers to get aggravated about. The people who go to this gym are just regular, average people looking to focus a little bit more on fitness. That’s one of the many reasons why I like going to this gym – it’s fun and it gets the job done in a cost-effective, efficient way.

Come to think of it, I think I might be friends with some lunks…

Anyway, a few years ago (winter 2004 through summer 2005) when I was consistently working out, from time to time I’d post some of my observations while at the gym. Typically, I’d write a few lines about the outlandish activities that I’d see certain people engaging in when they should have been focusing more on working out. You can go back through this blog and find some examples if you want – or you can scroll down to read some early observations from my time at Planet Fitness.

Actually, I only have one observation of a weird type of person at the new gym and in the grand scheme of things, this observation is minor. Maybe there will be more examples of insanity as I go along at this place, but until then, enjoy!

The Person with Too Much Perfume/Cologne
I just don’t get the thought that goes behind this one. One week ago today I went to the new gym for my first workout session. The goal was to focus solely on acquainting myself with the different cardio machines. It was a pretty successful trip until the last 5 – 10 minutes. Here’s what happened…

After I spent about an hour on the treadmill, I went to ride the bike for a little bit. By the way, the stationary bike is a piece of cardio equipment which I typically try to avoid – something about peddling and getting nowhere bothers me. But I’m committing myself to trying and using new pieces of equipment at the gym and last Monday I wanted to get on the bike for a little bit.

Don't over scent yourself when going to the gym!

My intent was to spend about 15 minutes on the bike and then move on to another piece of equipment that I typically wouldn’t use. About 5 minutes into my bike ride a little old lady (she had to be in her late 70’s) hobbled on to the bike next to me with what had to be her daughter on the bike next to her. Now, I don’t care who works out next to me or what they do, etc. But this little old lady, God bless her, was drenched in that little old lady perfume. You know the perfume – that stuff you can smell a mile away? And she was about a foot away from me. Not good.

After a few huge inhales filled with whatever that little old lady perfume is made of, I had to get up. The end result was that instead of 15 minutes on the bike, I did about 10 minutes and I wound up a little lightheaded. I thought to myself, “I’ll go hang out in the locker room for a minute and clear my head and then get back to work.”

So I get up off of the bike and walk to the locker room and some kid had just walked into the locker room ahead of me. This kid was DRENCHED in cologne. I mean DRENCHED! I’m not one to play the ethnic stereotype game, but this kid was of a certain ethnicity that is frequently associated with wearing too much cologne and boy did he fit the bill. It was intense.

As you might imagine, after getting lightheaded from the little old lady and then getting smacked in the face with enough cologne to scent 50 men, I had to call it a day.

I’ve been back to the new gym twice since last Monday and I didn’t encounter the over-scented problem again so hopefully it was a one-time, rare occurrence!

I love it!

Look, I’m a big (overweight) guy these days, but back in high school I was bench pressing 385 pounds, squatting 660 pounds (on a yoke), and leg pressing over 900 pounds. So there was some serious power in this body and I think my performance on the wrestling mat and football field proved that fact. However, once I graduated from high school and began working out at the gym at my college I began to encounter people like the one you saw in the video above. Frankly, I found them to be bizarre people.

Seriously, who goes around grunting and flexing in a weight room? For a former high school weightlifting powerhouse, I was always taken aback by the 150 pound guys who were strutting around the college weight room looking at themselves in the mirror. Weirdos.

Then I graduated from college and joined the local gym and found a whole bunch of meatheads like the one in this video. They didn’t bother me as much after I graduated college because, well, I was a little bit older and didn’t really care. Yet, I find myself wanting to seriously get back into the gym these days. At the same time, I’m somewhat reverting back to a high school state of mind where I don’t want to be aggravated by the presence of wannabes and false meatheads at the gym!

So I saw this commercial again and again over the last few weeks and it prompted me to go online to check out this Planet Fitness gym. Wouldn’t you know it, but they just opened one up at the Monmouth Mall?! Something about working out at the mall didn’t sit right with me, so I didn’t consider joining this place. Then I did some more research and found out that there was also one in an old Walgreens building in Succasunna (my family’s hometown) and that they had amazingly-priced membership deals.

Having one in my family’s hometown makes working out easier and the membership deals make affording a new gym much less impactful on my personal budget. On top of that, my office is moving to New Brunswick and there’s a Planet Fitness near our new office and I can use my membership there, too.

You put all of this together and I had to seriously consider joining this gym. Ultimately, I did decide to join this gym where I won’t find a bunch of meatheads walking around lifting things up and putting them down!