Archive for the ‘Jokes & Humor’ Category

Old Spice + Walmart = Epic Marketing Failure
November 22nd, 2011 | Added to Idiots, Morons, & Fools, Jokes & Humor | 2 Comments »
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Sometimes I see something while I’m walking through the store and it makes me stop in my tracks, do a double take, and wonder to myself, “Wait… what was that?!” A few days ago when I was walking through the local Walmart I had one of these moments, though I admit the reaction was delayed by a few seconds. Take a look at this picture and try to figure out what the problem is here:

Take a look at that picture - something ain't right about this "value..."

Did you pick up on the problem with this “value” that they’re promoting? No? Go ahead, take another look.

You may notice that buying one stick of Old Spice Fiji antiperspirant deodorant will cost you $3.97. If you wear Old Spice deodorants (and I do), then you know that this is the general going rate for the antiperspirant version of the product. But wait! Look! Right next to the $3.97 stick of Old Spice Fiji is a TWO PACK of Old Spice Fiji for just $7.97! Awesome! What a deal! What great value!

Wait a minute…

Let’s go back to basic, elementary school math for a moment. If one stick costs $3.97 and two sticks cost $7.97, which deal costs less per stick? Hmmm… well one stick costs $3.97 – we know that already. Now if two sticks costs $7.97 then we’d have to divide that amount by two, which would give us $3.98 (and a half cent) per stick. Well, that doesn’t make any sense does it? Aren’t we supposed to be getting a better “value” for the two sticks? This math seems like the consumer has to pay more by getting the special “value” offered at the friendly, neighborhood Walmart.

Can’t be right. Let’s try this another way.

So we know that one stick of the deodorant costs $3.97, but let’s say that I wanted to leave Walmart with two sticks of the product. Well, this one seems simple enough right? Just grab the special “value” and go about my business. Or… wait a moment here… if I can get one stick for $3.97, then what if I bought two of those one sticks? That would be $3.97 + $3.97 = $7.94 for the two sticks.

Do you hear that, Walmart and Old Spice? Your special “value” costs 3 cents more than simply picking up two of the same product! Come on, guys! Get with the program already! How could someone let this slip through the cracks?

And I know what some folks out there on the interwebs would be thinking after reading this; they’d think, “Calm down, Joe. It’s just a simple oversight that will probably get fixed in a matter of days.” Well, that’s true, but what bothers me in this situation is the marketing team at Old Spice. Simply put – these guys are pushing the Fiji flavor of their body wash, deodorant, and body spray more than I’ve ever seen them promote anything else. I mean, take a look at the front page of their website:

Trying to push a failing flavor much? Give it up already.

How many times can they slap that wretched Fiji stench on their website before it becomes ridiculous? It’s even worse in the stores. Every Christmas box set that I see from Old Spice in Wegmans or Walmart is jam packed with the Fiji flavor. Not the Komodo flavor or the Denali flavor or the Cyprus flavor; not even my personal favorite flavor – Matterhorn. Nope, all you get from Old Spice this holiday season is Fiji.

And I think I know why they’re promoting this flavor so much – it’s just not that good.

It’s not. When you smell the Fiji flavor something just smells wrong about it. There’s the wrong mixture of… I don’t even know. Sweetness and a biting stench are the only two adjectives that I can think of to describe the smell. It’s just not that good.

So here’s hoping that the folks at Walmart and/or Old Spice catch this mistake in their pricing model and fix it before they look even dumber than they look already. And here’s also hoping that Old Spice will stop trying to push a stench that the people have clearly rejected. If they were putting Matterhorn or Komodo (or any other flavor) out there in these box sets, they’d all be sold already. But no. Instead, we get Fiji.

Gross.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Takes on Occupy Wall Street
November 12th, 2011 | Added to Jokes & Humor | No Comments »
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Normally, I don’t share clips from television shows on this blog. It’s not because I don’t watch much television, but rather because I just don’t have a lot of time to watch the clips to see if they are funny or not. However, I saw this clip from Conan posted on the internet the other day and I had to share it. This video is of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog taking on the entire Occupy Wall Street situation from the bankers to the protestors to the media. Absolutely hilarious – enjoy!

Ha ha ha! I hope you enjoyed that clip!

Jon Stewart Makes a Decent Point About the Lack of Ron Paul Coverage
August 16th, 2011 | Added to Jokes & Humor, United States Politics | 2 Comments »
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Jon Stewart is one of those guys that I really don’t “get” in terms of popularity. He seems to be appealing to my demographic which makes almost no sense to me because I always thought that the people in my demographic tried to stay away from supporting folks who pass off garbage as truth. I don’t know – I just don’t find the guy funny. And I don’t think he offers any relevant political “comedy” whenever he rants about how bad Republicans and conservatives are for the country. In fact, ranting and raving like that not only harms free speech in general, but it attempts to stifle serious debate among the country’s younger population.

Not good.

However, he did mention something the other night on his show that is, by far, the best thing I’ve ever heard him say. Here, take a look for yourself:

Again, I don’t really care for Stewart but he is on point here. What gives with the lack of Ron Paul coverage?! Look, I know that Paul’s campaign goes out of its way to spike the post-debate text message polls and stuff the audience members with their supporters, but that’s the way it is – why deny its existence? In fact, you might argue that Paul is getting the same treatment that the Tea Party received early on in their creation. Remember that? Remember when there were hundreds of thousands of people marching on Washington, DC and the media was like, “Oh? What? No, we don’t know anything about this Tea Party stuff. Are they racists?”

Why is Ron Paul getting that type of treatment? It’s bizarre. In fact, it’s the type of bizarre that makes people wonder about the media – how can every single news outlet deny the man’s existence when he’s clearly a front runner right now? Gah!

Commercial Review: Mass Mutual’s “I Love Dumplings…”
June 25th, 2011 | Added to Book, DVD, Movie, & Media Reviews, Jokes & Humor | No Comments »
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Sometimes I watch a commercial and go, “What the hell was that?” Recently, there are two commercials that just aggravate the hell out of me. The first is the Weight Watchers for Men commercial featuring the guys talking about how they lost weight and how they interact with their friends. That commercial bothers the hell out of me because at the end, they’re all going, “AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” after one guy says that he told someone else, “I look a lot better than you right now.”

That’s not funny. That’s not a joke. There’s nothing humorous about that statement. Ugh! Horrible marketing.

Anyway, the other commercial that has me at my wits end is the one from Mass Mutual where these business people are in a Chinese restaurant and their waitress doesn’t speak any English. So one of the women at the table speaks Chinese and asks her colleagues if they like dumplings.

Well! The guy sitting next to her has a look on his face that is an interesting mixture of constipation, aggravation, astonishment, disgust, and whatever emotion represents the thought, “What the hell are you, you worthless disaster?” Take a look at a freeze frame of this guy’s face:

Why so angry? Good grief! You're getting dumplings for goodness sake. Cheer up!

I mean what gives?! This guy is going to get some dumplings and yet he has a look on his face like he wants to choke this woman. What’s his problem? He’s about to get dumplings for goodness sake! Cheer up, you dummy! Free dumplings! Gah! Here is a video of the whole commercial so you can see just how creepy and awkward this guy really is in the grand scheme of things.

So remember – the next time you’re in a Chinese restaurant and one of your business colleagues manages to get you dumplings… look appreciative!

The Lonely Island and Michael Bolton Team Up for a Hilarious Music Video
June 6th, 2011 | Added to Jokes & Humor | No Comments »
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Those of you that watch Saturday Night Live know that the guys from The Lonely Island were hired by the show a few years ago and are frequent contributors. Chances are that you know Andy Samberg from the show – he’s the guy who does the music videos with famous singers like Justin Timberlake (“Dick in a Box”) and Nicki Minaj (“The Creep”).

Well, the guys from The Lonely Island recently teamed with pop ballad singer Michael Bolton to create one of the funniest videos that I’ve seen in a while. I don’t know what it is about the video, but it makes me laugh. In fact, I laughed out loud the first time that I watched the video. So go ahead and watch the full video below, but be forewarned that it isn’t entirely safe for work.

Come on – that’s a hilarious video! In the words of Larry the Cable Guy – I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. If you didn’t find it amusing, then watch it a few more times and give it a chance. Not only will the music begin to grow on you, but if you watch it for the joke that it is I think that you’ll begin to see the humor grow each time you watch. Enjoy!

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