Today’s entry is from the “Entries That Never Made It” file. A brief explanation, first. If you don’t know, JerseySmarts.com is operated off of the WordPress database. This database system allows me to save drafts of entries and revisit them at a later date and time to complete my thoughts and then, ultimately, upload the entry to the blog. Well, sometimes I start an entry, go back to it a few times to add new thoughts, and then wind up not finishing it. In the past, I would have just deleted the entry and moved on. However, I thought there might be some sense (and maybe even some humor) in keeping the half-finished entries available for reading on the blog.
Which brings us to today’s post. The entry below was originally prepared back in November 2009. My impetus for writing this one was the fact that the roads in New Jersey were packed with folks from other states who had no idea how to drive Garden State style! As you might imagine, dealing with horrible drivers got me pretty irate so I began writing this entry as a way of explaining how people should drive in New Jersey.
Before you read the entry below you should understand that there are half finished sentences and thoughts that just end without being completed (like the very first sentence). Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Driving during the holidays made me extremely angry really brought out the
Stop At A Stop Sign
The picture to the left is a stop sign. When you see one of these signs on a road that you are traveling on – STOP! Stopping is bringing your car to a complete stop. This does NOT mean that you can roll through the stop sign into on-coming traffic, especially if you are at a four way stop intersection.
The Middle Finger
If you see the picture to the left while you’re driving around New Jersey, chances are that you’ve fucked up and made someone driving near you very mad. In fact, there is a strong chance that you broke one of the rules that I’m sharing with you on this page. The image to the left shows what we call the Middle Finger. When someone gives you the Middle Finger, you should refocus your attention on the road and your driving skills and, if necessary, pull into the slow lane (see below) to let the professional drivers get to their destination without being aggravated by you and your ridiculously amateurish driving style.
The Fast Lane and The Slow Lane
You’ll notice in the picture to the left that there are two lanes on this highway. In New Jersey, the lane on the left is what we call the “Fast Lane” and the lane on the right is what we call the “Slow Lane.” When you’re driving in New Jersey, you’ll often see speed limit signs telling you what the suggested speed limit is for the road that you’re on. Note my use of the word “suggested” here. It is common in New Jersey for drivers accelerate between 5 and 10 miles per hour faster than the suggested speed limit. On the highways, you’ll often find people accelerating to greater speeds (none of which is condoned by JerseySmarts.com). However, if you find yourself driving in the left lane and you’re driving either at or below the speed limit, get in the right lane immediately! You’re blocking the professional drivers from using the left lane to drive a little bit faster than the speed limit and will likely cause yourself to receive the Middle Finger (see above).
Do Not Tailgate
You see this picture to the left? That’s the rear end of a car. When you’re driving in your car and you come upon this picture to the left (or a variation of it), you slow down and keep a distance. You do NOT pull the front end of your car within inches of the rear end of the person in front of your car. That would be an asshole move and will likely cause you to receive the Middle Finger (see above).
You know it’s funny. The more I read that half finished entry, the more I think that there was a lot of potential there. Oh well, maybe one day I’ll revisit this entry and actually complete it!