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Undergraduates and alumni from Delta-Beta Chapter in February 2017

Before I became the Chapter Director at Monmouth, our Faculty Advisor held the position. Our Faculty Advisor is probably the best, most engaged Faculty Advisor in the entire fraternity (in fact, when Sigma Pi started giving out a #1 Faculty Advisor in the nation award, our advisor was the first recipient). However, when I graduated in 2003, the position was ripe for a new person to hold it. I spent two years as the President of my chapter and during that time I was required to research the many events, reports, and issues that our chapter was completely out of the loop on. Shortly after I graduated, the new President of the chapter and I traveled to Sigma Pi’s leadership school and talked to the fraternity’s Executive Director about our situation. During our trip, I was asked to become the new Chapter Director and we implemented that change immediately.

What I learned from my time as an undergraduate leader through my time as a young alumni volunteer and now to someone who has some seasoning as a volunteer is that undergraduates are, naturally, not as connected to the on-going workings of the national organization as one might expect. In other words, national student organizations like fraternities and sororities should not expect every single undergraduate leader at every single undergraduate chapter to take an impassioned interest in the finer points of completing and submitting monthly or quarterly or annual reports. There is going to be an equally less-than-enthusiastic understanding of why it is necessary and beneficial to attend national conferences and regional workshops.

It is one of the many jobs of a local and regional volunteer to connect with their undergraduates in an educational, uplifting, and genuine way. The connection must be educational because we need to make the mundane reporting relevant to their everyday experiences as undergraduate leaders. The connection must be uplifting because today’s young men are berated and denigrated by nearly every corner of society just because they are young men. Who will tell our young men, “Good job!” or “I’m proud of you,” if not for us?

But most importantly, the connection must be genuine because undergraduates can see through lies and falsehoods with laser-like accuracy. And they should cut through the nonsense!

I’ll be writing more about mentoring undergraduates soon, so stay tuned!

That’s right. I enjoy going to church.

This is my new church - it's a really great house of worship.

I’m sure that there are scores of CCD/Sunday school students, kids, and teenagers who would read that comment and say, “Blech! Church is SOOO boring!” I know. I said the same thing just a few years back. But it’s true – I enjoy attending mass each week.

Before some of you think that I’ve turned into a holy roller or a crazy religious person let me be very clear that that hasn’t happened at all. From time to time I’m unable to go to the weekly mass service and I don’t get hysterical when that happens. Sometimes you just can’t make it to church and as long as your reason for not being able to attend isn’t frivolous, then God understands. However, as I get older I’ve found that I’ve grown into a routine. We all have our routines. You wake up to a certain rhythm, you get ready for bed with a certain rhythm, you arrange your office to a certain rhythm, etc. Over the last few years I’ve found that after I added regular spiritual worship to my weekly routine via weekly mass and (more recently) the occasional penance service, that I really do enjoy attending these services. They’re short, to the point, and a good chance to get out and be part of something bigger than yourself.

And if there is anything that is bigger and more worthy of our attention than ourselves then it obviously has to be the Church.

The church that my Grandmother attended when she was young.

One thing that I’ve been missing in my worship is a dedicated church and parish to call my own. To fix that problem, I spent the better part of each Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning over the last few months trying out different churches. Below you can find some thoughts on what I was looking for in my search for a new church.

Here are a few of the important items that I looked for when I was searching for a new church to attend:

• Interior Church. Let’s face it – we are all greatly influenced by our surroundings in all that we do. When it comes to worship I think you need to be in a place where you feel a good mixture of comfort, reverence, austerity, and ritual.
• Proximity to Current Area. Even though I haven’t moved to a new apartment in three and a half years, I still move around a lot more than other people in my age group. Not having a set place to call home really bungles up some things in life including finding local communities in which to participate. Finding a parish that was near to my current location was important to me because I’ll probably wind up staying in this general area for the next few years.
• Volunteer Opportunities. Many folks who read this blog wonder why I spend so much of my free time volunteering. Well, I enjoy the whole volunteering process including helping people. Understand where I’m coming from, though – I have a few large-scale, national volunteer obligations coming to an end in the next year and I think the next time I dedicate a great portion of my “time, talent, and treasure” to a cause I would like for it to be closer to home. So, the availability of volunteer opportunities is important to me.
• The Process of the Mass. This item may seem a little bit weird to those of you who have not been to multiple Catholic churches, but one of the things that I’m looking for is a little bit of commonality in my masses. Sometimes I got to a mass and I can’t follow the basic parts of the service because the particular church that I’m attending has their own music, process, and/or added verses. For example, I can’t tell you how many different times I’ve heard the “Gloria” sung with different words, added words, different melodies, different tones, etc. It gets confusing and, frankly, a bit annoying. Makes me wonder about the fuller impact of the Third Roman Missal, but that’s a blog entry for another time.
• The Songs. The parish that I wound up registering at has an excellent selection of music for each service. They don’t choose obscure songs in the hymnal, but instead choose songs that the people will probably know. For example, during the Christmas season at my church we’ve sang Ode to Joy, Hail Holy Queen, Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, etc. There’s no reason to sing some ancient, old song that no one “gets” these days. The church that I registered at understands that fact and gives the parishioners the opportunity to sing songs during mass that are known in most households.

The first picture in this entry is a picture of St. Catherine of Siena Church in Farmingdale. It is a great place to worship. The second picture above is from Our Lady Star of the Sea Church in Long Branch. This is the church that my Grandmother attended as a child with my Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother. Of all the churches that I attended, I would prefer to attend Our Lady Star of the Sea simply because of the family connection. However, this church is a bit far from where I live – about 25 minutes away – so I only plan to attend services at that building every once in a while.

There you have the summation of my great church search during the latter part of 2011. I’m very pleased with the church that I wound up registering at which is only about ten minutes from my house. The interior of the church is beautiful and they keep it very clean and tidy. There seem to be ample volunteer opportunities if at some point in the future I decide that I want to volunteer for the church locally. There is a very consistent, very by-the-book process for the mass. The songs are all well-known and not obscure, random songs that don’t connect with the congregants. It appears to be a great parish to grow in faith and I’m looking forward to continuing to attend services there in 2012.

I’m going to try to find more hours in my day by waking up earlier each day. On a typical day, I generally get up between 6:30am and 7:00am. I’m going to try to move that back an hour and get my exercising in during the morning hours (I already know that it’s not going to be a long term success because I don’t like working out in the morning, but it might be good for now). So we’ll see how that goes…

The thing that really seems to sap the time from my day is this ridiculous commute to and from Trenton everyday. An hour there and an hour back. Sometimes I make it back from Trenton in 45 minutes because there isn’t so much traffic, but most mornings I wind up sitting in the car for more than an hour, so it all averages out. I like my job and all, but if a similar opportunity came up that cut my commute in half (or less), I’d probably take the offer.

Look, I’m an overachiever and I’m aware of that fact. Yes, I should calm down and not do so much extra with my non-day job hours, but I have to keep myself busy. I hate sitting around too much and I hate wasted time. Hell, when I clear out my DVR on the weekends I do it while I’m going to work on the laptop with the TV playing in the background! When I go to the gym I make it a point to read while I’m on the treadmill so I get two birds down with one stone!

I think part of the problem is the increase in non-day job business that I have going right now. Once some of my side projects are completed I should have some additional hours in the day. Until then, I propose that we extend each day to 30 hours long. Agreed?

While I understand that the transition from high school to college is literally life-changing, many students are entering college without any ability to live on their own. I see kids who are constantly on the phone with their parents, make daily trips back to their hometowns, and cocoon themselves from any new experiences on campus. To some small degree you have to appreciate why employers don’t want to give these people jobs once they graduate. The ability to think on your own and solve problems as they arise is critical to being successful in today’s world.

Anyway, the point of this entry is how taking a year off between high school and college might have always been a good idea for some students, but it might be a good idea for all students given some pending legislation. As the New York Times reports:

Last month, President Obama proposed what some experts called the most sweeping changes in federal college aid programs in decades. But even if Congress approves the new and expanded programs, they will not take effect until July 2010.

So here is a heretical idea for this year’s high school seniors: Take a year off and go out and do something else. Then, when it is available, see if you can take advantage of that aid money — more fixed-rate student loans and bigger grants to the poorest students.

Brilliant! This is a great idea that has many unintended (or perhaps intended) consequences. First, those who take next year off to develop themselves as human beings will be better prepared for the rigors of college life. Second, colleges will be forced to re-evaluate their expenses and whether or not they offer a valuable service given the realities of today’s market. And last but not least, you have the actual intended effect of the recommendation above – take a year off and wait until more subsidy dollars flow to your educational pursuits.

If coordinated correctly, this idea could initiate a great shift in the higher education system.

I know that the price of tuition is higher than ever, which is why if you are willing to volunteer in your neighborhood or give back to your community or serve your country, we will make sure that you can afford a higher education. And to encourage a renewed spirit of national service for this and future generations, I ask this Congress to send me the bipartisan legislation that bears the name of Senator Orrin Hatch as well as an American who has never stopped asking what he can do for his country – Senator Edward Kennedy.

You know – that’s a very inspiring thought and a good idea. I wonder about how realistic it is in action, though. For example, what will the cost be to the government if High School Student A volunteers X amount of hours in his or her hometown and thus meets the requirements of this program? Will the government pay all of their tuition at a public school? Half? A quarter? What is the number that makes college affordable for a student?

Further, what happens if High School Student B – who is from a better off family than Student A – does the same amount (or more) of volunteering than Student A? Since Student B is from a well-to-do family, then does he or she get anything for their community service? The same end was achieved – citizens served their community. Right?

And what happens when High School Student C needs another 50 hours of community service by the deadline date to qualify for whatever this grant money will be? Are we to believe that if Student C’s family knows people who know people that they won’t write-up false letters showing all of the service hours that Student C volunteered?

I don’t want to sound like a negative guy on this proposal, but it seems like it’s a bit too nebulous right now. I’m all for college affordability so long as 1) it is a program with no discrimination (income included), and 2) it’s fiscally responsible. We didn’t get that information last night. Other than that, I thought the President’s speech sounded more like a campaign speech than anything else, but I had no major fundamental problems with it.

To start, this was my first time in California and the minute that we touched down, there was a 5.4 earthquake! How crazy is that? Luckily, we really didn’t feel the earthquake in the plane, but there were a lot of people huddled around television screens in the airport. It was pretty weird, but definitely a fortuitous event in terms of how my delegation and I fared at the national convention.

As for Long Beach itself, I wasn’t overly crazy about the location. Granted, the temperature was nice and there was nearly no humidity, but there was no “beach” in Long Beach. The closest beaches were 20 minutes away north or south by car. There was a nice tourist area with a Hooters and an Outback and some other places that you can find across the country, but only a few places with local flavor. We did spend one night in something called GameWorks and that was a blast. However, I find that as I get older at these events I want to go to the bar less and less and I enjoy the time I get to hang out with my friends from far away more and more. The last thing that I’ll say about the location is that the convention two years ago was about a 3 minute walk from Bourbon Street in New Orleans and I don’t know how anyone can top that scene!

Once again, my undergraduates and alumni volunteers wiped up the awards. I have 7 chapters out of some 130 that are under my direct supervision. Of those 7, THREE were awarded as among the Top 25 chapters in the nation! Better yet, of those 3, TWO were listed as among the Top 12 in the nation. The culmination of the event came when my chapter at The College of New Jersey won an award for being the #1 chapter in the nation. Absolutely amazing.

I was extremely proud of my chapter at Rowan University which won the Most Improved Chapter Award. In 2002 when I attended the convention as an undergraduate, my chapter won runner-up for the Most Improved Chapter. It only took four short years for us to rise to be the number one chapter in the nation and I expect the same thing will happen with our young men down at Rowan University. They have great leaders, great brothers, and a plan for success that is unmatched.

Our alumni volunteers also did a magnificent job of bringing home some awards. Each of our chapters has a direct advisor which we call a Chapter Director and the gentleman who advises our group at The College of New Jersey won the award for being the #1 Chapter Director in the nation! Each chapter is also required to have a Faculty Advisor and the professor who serves for our Monmouth University chapter won the #1 Faculty Advisor in the nation award! And the hits just kept on coming as I was honored and humbled to be awarded the #1 Province Archon in the nation award (we have 33 different regions in Sigma Pi, each with a Province Archon). We didn’t expect to receive so many awards and even though we’ve been building a history of success in New Jersey, this was a beautifully shocking event.

Also, I decided to run for a seat on the Board of Trustees on our Educational Foundation and thanks to the support of my brothers from around the nation I won the election. Once again, I am in debt to my fraternity brothers both local and far and I thank them for their support. I pledge NEVER to let them down so long as I serve on this Foundation!

Two more somewhat significant events took place for the New Jersey guys at Convocation. First, our delegate from the William Paterson University chapter proposed (and passed) a major new merit reimbursement program for the fraternity. That’s awesome. In a world where costs are going up and responsibilities are increasing, Sigma Pi Fraternity has decided to provide financial incentives to those chapters which adhere to their commitments to our National Organization. Second, our delegate from Monmouth University proposed (and passed) a new awards program that awards those chapters which perform the most outstanding events for the Sam Spady Foundation, our international philanthropy.

For some pictures of the event, you can check out my galleries on Facebook or on Google’s Picasa Web Albums (both have the same pictures in them). And, as I always say at the end of these events, this was one hell of a good time and I can’t wait to go to the next convention in 2010 in Boston!

The purpose of the annual fall workshop is to focus on the various keys to success for each of the chapters in the province. While we generally have a broad array of presenters speaking on a variety of issues, this fall we took a different approach. We invited Josh Orendi from Phired Up Productions, LLC to come in and run the entire workshop.

I’m pleased to say that Josh and Phired Up hit a home run in New Jersey!

Some of the feedback regarding Josh and his outstanding Phired Up presentation:

He really had an effect on the chapter here at FDU and we’re already putting into effect his recruiting methods. Also his methods turned the little wheels in our heads and we are tweaking some of our previous ways of doing things into a combination of his system and our own to make it work best for the chapter.

This is just one of the bits of feedback that we’ve gotten from our undergraduates. From an alumni advisor’s perspective, the Phired Up team is easy to work with and presented no problems in setting up this workshop. And while I’m going over the workshop, the team from Rowan University’s conference services was great to work with, too. I highly recommend working with both Rowan University and Phired Up!

I don’t know if it was either of these things that brought me down, though turning 26 was as uneventful as it could have possibly been. Just to imagine that 5 years ago I spent my birthday night out at the bar with 20+ undergraduates and alumni from my fraternity in a drunken stupor…but I digress.

Honestly, I think that the weight of my disgusting amount of student loans finally lowered its boom on my back. Sure, I’ve been paying them back since July, but when that small CitiBank loan kicked in at the beginning of December – that was the kick in the balls that I really didn’t need. Thankfully, I’ve already paid back 25% of this smaller loan and I anticipate having it paid off by the time the summer starts (if not beforehand). Stupid small loan trying to mess with me…

However, as much as taking a financial stand against my student loans has been a positive influence in my daily life I think that my volunteer work has been a bigger pick-me-up. It started when I went out on my annual trip to St. Louis for Sigma Pi Fraternity’s Mid-Year Leadership Conference. This is an event where the new undergraduate Presidents, Treasurers, and Recruitment Chairmen are each trained on how to operate the chapter while the alumni volunteers (me) are put into a separate education track for the weekend. Not only did I get to present at this year’s workshop (my topic was how to have better workshops), but I also enjoyed hanging out at some of St. Louis’ more famous landmarks (the Arch, the Budweiser Worldwide Headquarters, Laclede’s Landing).

The best part about these fraternity events, for me at least, is that you come back from them on a natural high about life. In other words, the whole morose feeling that was bringing me down prior to the St. Louis trip was gone.

And I only bring this up because I just remembered how crappy January was and how out of place it is for January to be a bad month for me. I’m a January fan, but this year sucked. I’m glad that I had a volunteer-based weekend in St. Louis to give me a nice kick in the ass.

First to Brother Mike Beebe for winning the Governor’s race in Arkansas. I had the chance to meet Mike in New Orleans this past August and he seemed like a genuinely good guy to me. The people of Arkansas have elected a good man to be their Governor.

Second, congratulations to our former national President, Don Cox, who won a town council election in Ewing Township, New Jersey. Don is a passionate volunteer and will bring the same dedication and commitment to service to Ewing Township that he’s brought to our fraternity.

Congratulations also go out to Mrs. Barbara Gorman who won a seat on the Absecon Town Council. Mrs. Gorman is the mother of one of New Jersey’s most dedicated alumni volunteers. If she can do for Absecon what she taught her son to do for the fraternity, then I might be moving down to that part of the state really soon!

Good job to all!