My promotional rate for the bundled Comcast services that I am subscribed to (cable, internet, and phone) was expiring at the end of June. On a separate, unrelated call (one of the cable boxes in the house went down), Comcast advised me to contact them to get a new promotional rate for the coming year. I thought that was nice of them to give me a head’s up, so I made the call.

I must have called two or three weeks ago and they verified that my promotional rate was expiring and that I was eligible for a new promotional rate that would actually lower my total bill by $15 each month. That’s not bad! However, this made my the synapses in my mind start to go off because we’ve all dealt with this problem: you change your service in the middle of the month and the service provider winds up double and sometimes triple charging you which launches your next bill into the stratosphere. Nobody wants to deal with that for two reasons. First, it’s extremely annoying and everyone hates getting annoyed. Second, when you contact the actual service provider, 99% of the time you’re stuck on the phone with a person who has a script and is required to stick to it. Talk about doing anything but providing service!

Yet, to Comcast’s great credit, the woman on the phone must have anticipated this problem and suggested that she was going to make the changes effective for the next billing cycle. SWEET! There goes that headache and now all was in place for the next bill to come in. Or so I thought…

The woman on the phone told me the new monthly charge (something like $157 per month) and I thank her for her time. It really was a pleasant ohone call and a pleasant process. Until I received my next bill.

Ugh…

Not only are none of the changes that the woman talked to me about reflected on the bill (as they should have been), but the total monthly bill is $210. TWO HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS?! That’s $38 MORE than what I was originally paying!

I took a look at the bill and nothing that I talked to the woman about was reflected. Not a thing. Do you know how frustrating that is for a consumer? I spent half an hour of my time on the phone with that woman and NOTHING that we talked about was processed. Come on! I mean what? Is my time worth nothing?!

At this point, I did what any consumer would do – I picked up the phone and made a call to 1-800-COMCAST. This was a useless move. After 10 minutes of not getting anybody on the phone, playing the “Press X for…” game, and listening to crappy music while I was on hold, I hung up and went to Comcast.com to use their live chat. Now, to prove that I can say “good job” when it is well-deserved, let me say that Comcast.com’s live chat is excellent.

After signing on, a very nice live chat woman named Siena Rose answered my request in a matter of seconds. She was extremely pleasant and, if you want, you can read our entire conversation by clicking here. The end of this part of the story is that I had to call the local office in order to get the changes made on my account that I was told were made weeks ago. If you click on the transcript of the discussion above, you’ll note that as pleasant as Siena Rose was on the live chat, I did get very offended when she went to an obvious “copy and paste” tactic at the end of the chat. In short, she suggested that I can now consider my issue resolved when it was clearly not resolved. I didn’t like that. Read the transcript – you’ll see.

Oh joy, I get to call the local office. More of my time spent on something that should have been done weeks ago.

The next day rolls around and I call the local office. After playing the ridiculous “Press # for…” game and sitting on hold for 12 minutes, I hang up. Great, now I have to call the NEXT day. In other words, I have to take time out of MY WORK DAY to tell the local office that they made a mistake and that they need to fix it. At this point, I’m beginning to get enraged because I know exactly what’s going to happen – I’m going to request a new bill be generated erasing the false $210 bill and the local office isn’t going to do it. However, I learned once that you shouldn’t get mad at things before they happen, so I choose to simmer down before I make the call on Monday (during my work day).

Up until this point, I’ve spent almost an hour of my time trying to fix a mistake made and admitted to by Comcast. What do I get for this? If I made a mistake with my payments (which would never happen), Comcast would get a late fee. Where is my equivalent of a late fee for the mistakes that Comcast made and the loss of an hour of my personal time?

Instead of waiting to call the next day – during my work day – I decide to call 1-800-COMCAST to see what they can do. After about a minute on hold, some guy answers and asks me how he can help. I tell him my problem and he says that he can put me through to the local billing department, before I get a chance to say that I’ve been waiting on hold with them for 12 minutes already today – he puts me through. The same familiar, aggravating elevator music pops onto my phone…

Now I want to put my fist through someone’s face, but I’ve decided instead to calm down the rage and wait on hold (again). As I wait on hold, I begin writing this post so I don’t forget any of the absolute ridiculousness of this situation. After another 12 minutes on hold, I give up and realize that I’m going to have to make this phone call the following day from my office. That’s completely unfair, but what choice do I have?

Monday morning rolls around and after waiting on hold for a few minutes, I’m on the line with a customer service representative at Comcast. Here comes another dreadful moment – having to re-explain everything all over again (which I do as pleasantly as possible). The woman on the phone (didn’t catch her name) has no idea what I’m talking about and tells me that the reason why I have the wrong charges reflected on my bill is because I made the changes on June 27th and my billing dates run from the 20th of each month to the following 20th.

Ugh…

I explain to the woman that I called on June 15th to make the changes (she gets more confused) and that my billing period is the actual month itself. In this case, we’re talking about July 2nd through August 1st. This is met with a, “Wuhhh…uhhh…” Super! I tell the woman on the phone that the live chat specialist told me she made extensive notes in my account and that she should take a look at them. The woman on the phone, again, says that this is all confusing.

Great.

She asks if she can put me on hold, to which I say yes. After six minutes on hold, she comes back on and tells me that no changes have been made to my account…newsflash! She also said that she was going to transfer me to an account manager (how do you get the phone number to talk to an account manager directly?). An account manager named Marissa gets on the phone and goes over all of the issues with my account. She immediately sees all of the issues and I’m telling you – within a matter of two minutes she had everything fixed. She put me on hold for a few minutes and when she came back on, she reviewed my bill with me and I left a happy customer.

Before the end of the call, Marissa told me what the new amount was for the bill. I asked her again, “If I pay this amount, there won’t be a notice that I haven’t paid the entire bill or anything, right?” And she said, “No, like I just told you – this is how much you have to pay.” So I reminded her that I was told one thing on June 15th and something completely different on June 27th. She understood, apologized again for the oversight, and commented that I only had to pay the amount that she quoted me. In fact, she gave me her name, service number, and told me her location in case I ever had another problem. I thought that was a nice touch.

Whoever Marissa is in the Comcast organization, she should be given a raise. Every other step in this process was miserable except dealing with her. The most annoying part of the entire process (besides losing a few hours of my time and getting aggravated) was that I had to keep repeating myself and repeating the story.

Now let’s see if what Marissa says holds true when I go to pay my bill. I will be sure to let you all know the outcome!

I logged online to access their e-mail support (because there’s no way that I was going to sit on hold to call someone to ask about the channel). After having to enter every single bit of information that they could possibly ask me outside of my social security number, I submitted the following question to Comcast:

When are we going to get the FOX News Channel in High Definition? All of the satellite companies, FiOS, and Cablevision offer it in this area – when are we getting it on Comcast?

Short, sweet, and to the point – you know? Comcast generally gets back to their customers within 24 hours – this is the response that I received (name changed to protect the helpless):

Dear Joe,

Thank you for contacting Comcast.

I understand you would like further information regarding the addition
of Fox News HD to your Comcast channel lineup.

Our goal is to provide a wide choice of quality cable networks and local
broadcast channels reflecting the diverse programming interests of our
customers. In addition to requests from customers, the following
factors play a part in our decision making process:

· FCC regulations, such as requirements to carry all local broadcast
channels
· Requirement by local broadcasters to carry their affiliated cable
networks
· The number of access channels required by local government
· Customer satisfaction with networks carried in other systems
· Customer satisfaction with similar networks
· Importance of the network to our diverse community
· Level of interest across a percentage of our customer base
· Per-subscriber programming fees charged by the network versus the
value added to the line-up

What this all means is that we take all requests for new networks very
seriously, and that we carefully consider the overall impact of adding
each network. While we cannot honor every request, we do take each
request into consideration in planning future changes to the line-up.

Sincerely,

Bob
Comcast Customer Care Specialist

If you managed to suffer through reading that ridiculously “customer-friendly” response, you’ll notice that it says absolutely nothing. But not to fear – before I received this response (which was sent a few hours after I sent my initial inquiry), I found FOX News HD on channel 277.

Ahem, Comcast already offers the channel, but I still received a form mail response anyway! In other words, the robotic people who prepare these automated responses don’t even know the services that they offer! So I responded to Comcast – again, short and sweet:

Actually, I found the station on channel 277.

That’s all I needed.

I figured that with such a direct response, a human would reply back with something like, “Oh, great. We have to send out those automated responses, but I’m glad that you found what you were looking for. Enjoy!”

No.

Instead, I received this:

We have received your e mail and thank you for using Comcast’s online
email support. One of our Comcast customer support representatives will
get back to you, likely within just a few hours. In the meantime, you
may find our FAQs helpful to resolve your inquiry so we invite you to
visit http://help.comcast.net. Or, for more immediate attention to your
situation, try “Ask Comcast”, a real time chat service, available by
visiting http://www.comcast.net and clicking on the AskComcast link at
the top of the page. We look forward to working with you.

Sincerely, Your Comcast Support Team

Followed by this:

Dear [My Full Name],

Thank you for contacting us regarding your Comcast cable service.
I’m glad that you were able to find the channel that your were looking
for. If you need further assistance, please feel free to respond
directly to this email. We appreciate you taking the time to contact us.

Thank you for choosing Comcast.

Sincerely,

Jimmy R
Comcast Customer Care Specialist

First of all, I didn’t need the automated “we received your e-mail response,” but I appreciate the sentiment. Second, Jimmy R (name changed) shouldn’t be thanking me for choosing Comcast because I live in New Jersey – which means I can’t choose another cable company even if I wanted to! Sure, there’s Verizon FiOS and satellite, but home rule dominates this state.

And third, shouldn’t Jimmy R – a real human – have answered my first question to begin with? Wouldn’t that have saved Comcast from looking inept in terms of what they offer their customers?

Ah, cable companies. Gotta love ’em…at least if you live in New Jersey.

The first thing that I noticed was that there weren’t that many people at the gym, even though there were cars all over the outside of the building. Bear in mind that the size of this building is no larger than your typical Verizon Wireless store, so when I say that cars were “all over” the outside of the building, I mean that there were 6 or so cars. Honestly, I expected that because I assume that a lot of people workout early in the morning. However, when I walked in the door the place was near empty. The owner was there, someone he was training, an older woman, and some guy working out. That’s it.

This is in line with what I’ve seen in my general observations of this place – namely that there aren’t too many people who go there during the off-peak hours. I suppose an extension of this observation would be that the 6:15am hour is considered “off-peak” at this place! Weird.

So here I am at about 1:00pm today and I’m feeling alright. Most people believe that working out in the morning is a good idea. I guess I could get into it, but my schedule is so weighted towards not going to sleep until midnight or later that getting up early each morning would be a challenge. We’ll see what happens…

Do you know someone who absolutely MUST have his or her cell phone on their person at all times? Do they get phone calls on the cell phone and then run into a corner to talk to whoever is on the other line about a gigantic secret (likely what to eat for dinner that night)? Think of who this person is in your life – the person who is constantly text messaging or reading their e-mail on their phone. Now think about whether or not that person could survive without their cell phone.

Probably not, huh? Come to think of it – could YOU survive without your cell phone? The New York Times ran an article today talking about how the writer of the article voluntarily gave up her cell phone! From the article:

The first inkling that I’d stepped over the line was when my husband called Verizon to cancel my account and the service representative reacted as if we were trying to pull a fast one. My husband’s account of the call:

Rep: “Is there a problem?”

“No,” my husband said.

Rep: “How can I change your mind?”

“She just doesn’t want her cellphone anymore,” he said, adding, “I feel like I’m talking to a counselor at a suicide prevention hot line.”

The rep laughed nervously, as if hearing a rumor of the Apocalypse. “She’s really just going to switch to an iPhone, right?”

The article is pretty interesting and it got me thinking about a few things like whether or not I need a cell phone at all and, if so, then what services I need on the phone. I guess I do need a cell phone at this point in my life, but I could probably pare down the service somewhat (which is already down at the lowest level, I think). Take a read of the article, I think you’ll enjoy it!

It’s a joke. This phone is a damned joke.

So I called Verizon Wireless a little while ago and to make a long story short, there’s nothing they can do to help me with this phone. After some discussion with two folks who, by the way, were very pleasant I asked this question: “I have a phone that I can’t use, I can’t replace, I can’t return, and I can’t fix. So are you telling me that I have a $500 paperweight here?” And God bless the Supervisor I was talking to because without actually saying, “Yes,” she said, “Yes.” That’s skill right there!

She made a point about what other business allows you to return a device months, even years, after you bought it? A clever ploy on her part which I’m sure confounds many people, but I came back with the fact that there are lemon laws in place where if your purchase is faulty you can return it. After reminded her that this would be the FOURTH replacement for this phone in an 18 month time frame, she dropped that argument. But she still saved Verizon Wireless some money because in the end – and without actually saying so – she suggested that I dump this device in the garbage. And there you have it, folks. I have a $500 paperweight sitting on my desk. If you’re interested, I’ll let it go for a mere $400…

At this point, I’m not sure whether or not I’ll stay with Verizon. It’s extremely insulting to have them come back at me with, “There’s nothing we can do. Sorry.” I’ve been a loyal customer who pays his bill EARLY for almost a decade and these bums can’t do anything for me? That’s not right. It used to be that the customer was always right – within reason. I believe that I am far within reason on this issue and that Verizon is trying to save themselves from having to give back a few bucks (or even from replacing this phone) from the consumer. It’s a shame, really.

Apparently my business isn’t worth much to this company. But of course, everyone I know has Verizon so if I go to a different carrier my bill will undoubtedly go up due to the fact that I’m on a new network.

I’m incarcerated by my mobile company!

And now I put this out to you folks – what do I do with my phone? Do I bag it up and demolish it with a hammer? Do I box it up and send it over Verizon Wireless and tell them to keep it? Do I donate it to some group when I know that it doesn’t work? Let me know what you think!

I’m being held hostage by Verizon Wireless.

The problem this time around is that my touchscreen seems to work on all parts of the screen, except the middle. So this means that any time I put the stylus on the center of the page, the phone doesn’t recognize it. And what’s so bad about that? Well, the obvious – I can’t get this thing to work the right way and I spent over $600 on the package when I purchased it.

But through some no-good online help, I’ve managed to reset my phone and gotten it stalled out where it asks me to “Use stylus to tape center of target one last time.” And where does this target appear? That’s right – the exact middle of the touchscreen!

So I have a stalled out, piece of garbage phone. Not only is this the worst phone that I’ve ever purchased, but I am going out of my way to dissuade other people from buying this piece of shit. I’ve already gotten two people to stay away from this phone (and the now-tarnished Palm brand) – here’s hoping that this post gets more people to stay away from this brand.