hey my name is jill im 28 and i like to hang out and meet new ppl i am with the most wondful guy name bob he my life and now i be came a wondful aunt and she also my lil gurl(tanisha) i love her with all my heart. i have 6 tattoes i have 3 priceing

How can anyone write something so incredibly stupid, look at it, and say, “Yes. That’s what I want the world to know about me.” Are you serious?! “I am with the most wondful guy.” Really? Wondful? Is this a new word that I wasn’t alerted to? Wondful? Couldn’t squeeze out that “er” could you? Idiot…

Oh, and this “wondful” guy means a lot to you because “he my life.” He my life?! What? Couldn’t manage to pop out an “is” or “completes” or “enhances” or any word at all? Moron…

Hold on, folks. I have to go vomit.

Back.

But wait! Not only is this guy that this moron is with “wondful” but apparently she, herself, is a “wondful” aunt! Oh, how marvelous!? A “wondful” aunt who has a “wondful” guy on her arm. Life is awesome!!!

And not only is she a “wondful” aunt, but she loves her “gurl.” Really? Your “gurl?” Just couldn’t manage to push the key located directly next to the “u” on the keyboard, huh? Dummy…

However, for me the best part of this drivel – the part that forced me to write this post – was the last line where this “wondful” dummy writes, “i have 6 tattoes i have 3 priceing.” No shit? You have 6 tattoes, huh? And what exactly is a tattoe? Is that a tattoo on your toe? If so, why does one need six of them? But better yet, what is a “priceing?”

Many, many years ago I worked for PathMark in the Price Integrity Department. My job was to put the prices up on the shelves. Some people said I was pricing the items. However, this dummy “have 3 priceing.” So, clearly, what this dolt is talking about doesn’t match what I used to do for a part-time job. Hmmm… Perhaps she meant to say that she has three piercings? Nooo… NO ONE could be so stupid that they write “priceing” and mean to really write “piercing.” Right? RIGHT?

Folks, I put this up there because a bunch of my friends (and readers of this blog) are beginning to have children. That’s great. Kids are awesome. However, please, please, please stay on top of your child’s education! No, I’m not suggesting that you become one of these overprotective parents who don’t allow their children to form their own personalities. What I AM suggesting, though, is that if you do not keep an eye on your child’s education and do as much reading to your child as possible in their early, formative years, then you may wind up with the moron that we see above.

The moral of the story is to read to your child and to get them engaged in reading and writing early on in life. You wouldn’t want them growing up thinking that their life is “wondful” when it could be wonderful.

Landlords in Monmouth County are weird.

And now we have an absentee landlord who lives in Kentucky. Fine, whatever. Like any other American, he has the right to live where he wants and own what he can afford – even if that means he owns a property thousands of miles from where he lives. Whatever – good for him. He’s not a good “people person” as he is one of those rich guys who never really listens to what you say, but rather just talks over you. Also, he is quite condescending and thinks that my roommates and I are just a bunch of “kids.” Bear in mind, I’ll be 28 years old in a few months and both of my roommates and I have Masters Degrees and we’ve been working professionals for the last 2+ years (we’ve all actually held jobs for much longer). But, like all Monmouth County landlords, this guy is just weird.

My roommates and I sent him August’s rent on July 21st. Talk about sending the rent early, huh? We try to be good tenants and we wanted to start the relationship with the new landlord on the right foot. Get this – the landlord doesn’t cash any of our checks until August 22nd. That’s 32 days later! In the interim, he complains that we sent three checks (one from each of us) and he demands that he gets one check from me from now on. I told him that he wouldn’t have to worry about this in the future as we’ll be sending a money order or cashier’s check.

Why a money order or cashier’s check? Well, my roommates and I have any number of monthly expenses that we each pay – cell phone, car insurance, utilities, rent, car loans, student loans, etc, etc. Every single one of our bills can either be paid instantly online or we can send a check that is cashed within a week. None of us (and I would assume none of you) EVER pay one of your monthly bills and have to wait 32 days for your checks to be cashed! Why a money order? Because I live my life within a tight budget and in the real world! With all of the bullshit that I have to deal with in my financial life, I don’t have the time or effort to let a check sit out there for over a month.

I write this because the landlord has now recommended that we do NOT send money orders to pay the rent. I don’t know what his angle is, but it’s not going to work. I’m sending these money orders as certified mail with return receipts. He mentioned something in an e-mail about “what if they get lost in the mail?” Ugh…

There are enough fail-safes in the money order system in the year 2008 to track where these money orders are and who is cashing them. Plus, they are sent as certified mail to HIS OWN ADDRESS!

Folks, this is an unnecessary complication in my life. I do not want to talk with my landlord or have an adversarial relationship with the guy. I want to pay my rent on time, take care of my apartment, and I want him to cash my checks in a reasonable time frame. Why must this process be any more complicated, damn it?