Millions attend mass on the beach at World Youth Day 2013

To help remedy the reality of rudeness, here are 11 tips to assist those who don’t get to church too often.

1. Welcome! There is nothing that regular churchgoers love better than seeing more people in the church, so WELCOME! Seriously, even though my own parish gets a pretty good turnout during the four weekend masses, it’s great to see an overflow crowd praying and worshiping together. In fact, there are even places in America that are engaging in “mass mobs” which is the same concept as a flash mob, except they focus on bringing dozens if not hundreds of people into a Sunday service. It’s a pretty cool concept.

   Anyway, welcome back to church! You should know that the Church welcomes you back, the parish welcomes you back, and the parishioners welcome you back. And hey, after Christmas and/or Easter are over – why not consider coming back once in a while for a traditional Sunday mass? Not only are those masses shorter, but they cover different topics that you might find interesting.

2. Get to church on time. Okay. I know. Sometimes something pops up and you make it to church late. Hey, I walked into mass a few Sundays ago 10 minutes after the service started and I felt bad about it. Yet, there’s a difference between someone who goes to church every week arriving late to a non-holiday mass and an annual/CEO showing up 15 minutes late to a holiday mass. The difference is that the excuse of something “popping up” actually applies to someone who attends mass every week. For an annual/CEO the excuse that something popped up to prohibit you and/or your family from getting to mass on time on the one day of the year that you actually attend is malarkey. You had an entire year to prepare yourself for your annual pilgrimage to church – don’t believe your own lies and think that it’s okay for you to walk into church late because something “popped up.”

   What popped up is that you didn’t really plan your morning well enough… even though you had a year to do so. A good rule of thumb is that if you’re going to be walking into a Sunday service 5 minutes late or later, then you should probably wait until the next service and go then. If you have an appointment coming up that requires you to attend this mass versus a later one, then at least pray for forgiveness for being so self-absorbed that you couldn’t plan out your morning better even though you had a year to schedule it.

3. Don’t sit at the end of the pew. This is always a bone of contention for folks who talk about mass attendance. Where should any of us sit when we attend mass? In terms of how far back in the church you should sit, I don’t think there’s a particular unspoken rule or generally accepted bit of guidance on that item. Personally, I like to sit in the fourth row at my church because I can’t quite make out what’s going on at the alter if I sit further back (and that’s with my contacts in). On a rare occasion I’ll sit in either the first or second row, but it depends on how many people are attending mass and how early I get there.

   And that’s the key here – if you arrive at mass early (which most people do on Christmas and Easter), then you absolutely should NOT sit at the end of the pew! When I write “the end of the pew” I mean you walk into the church, choose which row you’re going to sit in, you kneel down, and then sit right there at the end of the pew so that every other person has to walk over/by you in order to sit down. This is rude and obnoxious! If there is no one else in the row, then move into the middle of the pew and sit there. Of course, if you have a medical condition that forces you to leave the mass during the service or if you have another extremely rare situation that requires you to get up and leave in the middle of worship, then you should sit at the end of the pew. But if you’re just old, if you want to be the first one out of the church, if you feel entitled to sit wherever you please, or if you just don’t want to be in the middle of the pew – those excuses don’t count. Don’t be rude, move into the middle of the pew, and make it easier on everyone else.

4. Yes, YOU have to turn off your cell phone. I always find it amazing when the Deacon or Priest makes a specific request before mass starts that everyone turn off their cell phones and then someone has their cell phone go off during the service. Look, we all make mistakes. I get it. Still, when the Deacon or Priest specifically asks us all to turn off our cell phones, my goodness – the least you can do is put the thing on vibrate! Just remember that when someone says to turn off your cell phone before the service starts, then YES – they are talking to you. Put the thing on vibrate or turn it off.
5. The response is “And with your spirit.” A few years ago, the church changed America’s “And also with you,” response to “And with your spirit.” As it turns out, the entire world was saying “And with your spirit,” except for those of us here in the United States. I remember when the change took place – it was only a few months after I returned to church on a more regular basis. Believe me, it was mass chaos (pun intended)! People were saying “And also with you,” over others saying “And with your spirit.” There was a comedy about all of it, but after a few weeks most people had the new response down. Sure, a few of the folks who have been attending mass for decades still had a hiccup here and there, but even they’ve gotten the hang of it.

   And then Christmas hit that year and the annuals were inflamed that people were saying the new response versus the old one. But, as we know, the annuals come and go… and usually don’t come back. So then Easter hit and the cries of “Foul!” were heard all over again from the annuals/CEOs. Those folks who had been attending mass regularly since the changes sort of looked at the annuals at that point and thought, “God, help them.” Today – more than two years since the change in the wording has taken place – feigning anger or consternation over the now-not-so-new wording is just ignorant. With these changes in the wording, the entire world now says the same thing during the mass (in their own language, of course). Get with it.

6. Be quiet! There are many frustrations that regular mass attendees face during Christmas and Easter. Chief among them is the lack of reverence for the sanctity of the mass. The Easter Vigil mass is one of the most solemn if not the most solemn mass of the year. It’s the longest mass of the year (about two and a half hours at my parish) and it’s the one where the most reverence is required. Many people go to the Easter Vigil in an attempt to not go to mass on Easter Sunday, so there is usually a huge attendance at this service.

   And most of the people who attend have no care, concern, or consideration for the reverence of the service. They don’t care that an entire community of churchgoers has been waiting for this mass all year so they can reverently pray and reflect on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

   I put this one on the list because of the Easter Vigil mass that I attended this year. I had the unpleasant experience of sitting in front of a troop of girl scouts during the mass. Now look – we have a problem in this country (and Western society in general) where we train our young girls to be vapid, mindless bodies who require excessive amounts of assurance and social agreement in order for them to just feel normal. Why we do this to our girls in this country is beyond me and probably a topic for a future post (though I have a strong suspicion that the problem is linked to the American form of hyper-feminism that has perverted traditional gender roles only to leave future generations in the dark about issues of self-confidence). However, these young girls talked through nearly the entire service. There were not two seconds that went by for the entire two and a half hours where this group of young girls were not gabbing with each other in a hushed whisper. They were doing the fake laughs of approval that are popular among that age group, they talked through each of the readings, they talked through the homily, and they even talked through the Our Father which really amazed me. The only time that these girls gave themselves more than a one second break in their babbling was when they were kneeling down during the preparation of the Eucharist. I think it was because they were positioned where they couldn’t easily interact with one another.

   If you’re attending mass for the first time this year or the first time since Christmas, then do everyone a favor and show some reverence for the service. And if your kids are the ones whispering and not paying attention during the service, then separate them from one another and try to spend some time before mass explaining to your kids about respecting the service and the reverence of the regular churchgoers. Again, if you’re only going once or twice per year, then the least you can do is be respectful during the service.

7. The issue of babies and kids making noise during the service. For me, this isn’t an issue. I don’t mind a crying baby and I don’t mind a kid who makes noises here and there. I have three baby cousins and I imagine that if they were at mass each week, they would probably cry or make a noise from time to time. The issue here is the parents and their ability to be aware of their surroundings (see the bullet point about being aware of your surroundings). If you have a baby with you and the poor kid is crying nonstop throughout the service, then you should really get up and go into the vestibule or the family-designated room until the baby calms down. You have to be aware of your surroundings. If you’re in the Christmas or Easter service (or any Sunday service for that matter), then chances are that you’re surrounded by hundreds of people who are trying to worship with some peace and dignity. No one is going to care about the occasional cry or whine or noise, but when that noise is constant (like those Girl Scouts in my example above), then you should respect the people who have gathered in the church and move to another location where the noise will not be a distraction.

   Let me offer a brief example because I know there is some ignorant parent out there thinking, “You don’t know what it’s like to have kids!” (Amen!) There is a parent in my parish who has a young kid – the boy has to be 4 or 5 years old. Whenever they’re at mass the kid has a running dialogue that goes through the entire service. Understand what I’m saying here, folks. There is a running dialogue from this kid. He talks nonstop – NONstop during every portion of the mass. He’s not loud and I think that’s why people don’t get particularly mad at the parents (I know I don’t get mad at them, just a little baffled). But after about 30 minutes of nonstop talking (albeit in a hushed tone) it is amazing that the parents don’t take the kid into the vestibule to let him get the rest of his dialogue out before coming back into the service. Of course, you each have your own experiences with something similar, I’m sure. For some of you, the babbling little boy is a 6 month old baby that cries for 45 minutes straight while the parents don’t get up and leave. Whatever the case may be, a good rule of thumb for churchgoers is to never get mad or angry at noises from kids unless they go on for a prolonged period of time and begin to distract from the service. A good rule of them for the parents of noisy kids is to remove the child from the public space after about a minute or two of nonstop noise.

8. Wait for the person ahead of you. If there was one piece of advice that I could give to most people who are in public places, it would be to be aware of your surroundings! One of the most frustrating things for anyone at mass is for them to go up, receive the Eucharist, and then get in the line for the wine only to begin walking back to their seat and having to climb their way over 7 or 8 people who couldn’t wait an additional 15 seconds for them to finish the wine before rushing back to the pew. While I was at Easter mass, I waited for an older woman who was sitting next to me to get the wine (I didn’t get the wine) and in the process, about 10 people got backed up because they were rushing back to the pew. One woman (in the most passive aggressive way) whispered towards me, “Kinda holding up the line.” Since I don’t respond to numb-minded idiots, I looked past this rude, self-obsessed, dullard of a woman towards the older lady making her way through the jumble of people and offered her to walk ahead of me in the pew so she could go back to sitting next to her equally older husband. The older lady smiled and said “thank you” and I told her “you’re welcome.” Of course, there was an ENORMOUS older guy who couldn’t wait for this older woman to get in the pew so he went ahead of both of us… and then he wouldn’t get out of the old lady’s way. As we began making our way through the pew, the HUGE guy looked at the old lady and smiled. She said she had to get by and he smiled at her again. She then pointed to her husband at the end of the pew and the fat guy looked at the husband and then leaned back maybe half an inch. The woman very politely said to him, “I think you’re going to have to sit down.” So he sat down and we both climbed over him back to our seats.

   The lesson here is that you should always wait for the person ahead of you to go back into the pew before you do. And you should always be aware of your surroundings and how you interact with them!

9. Wait for the closing hymn to finish. One of the rudest things that takes place on both Christmas and Easter is the rush of the annuals and CEOs to get out of the church immediately after the final blessing. It doesn’t work like that, folks! Granted, the ritual part of the mass is over when the priest gives his final blessing, but out of sheer respect for those who are tasked with the music ministry and out of some semblance of dignity for the sacred service that you’re at, WAIT until the final hymn is finished before you leave your pew and head out the door! Trust me, you’re not that important that you can’t spend another minute and a half listening to the closing hymn before you rush back to your likely-boring life. Show some respect and let the music ministry play or sing you out before you run for the door. Besides, you only go to church once or twice a year – if you want to run out so quickly, then don’t come in the first place.
10. Don’t hang around primary walkways. This is really a piece of advice for all people in all public places. If you’re attending the church service and you’re either on your way in or on your way out of the building, try not to stop to have a conversation with whoever it is that you’re talking to while you’re standing in the middle of a primary walkway. Look, chances are you’re talking to a neighbor or a friend that you see each week or possibly even every day. Do you really have to stop the flow of people entering or leaving the church to have a 2 to 3 minute conversation about something that is probably a bore and/or meaningless? You can’t cover those topics during the other interactions that you have with this person?

    Is it okay to stop and hug someone that you haven’t seen in a while? Of course. Is it okay to stop and have a 30 second conversation with that person while you’re in the middle of a primary walkway? Of course not.

11. If you’re not going to participate, consider not attending. This one is a tough piece of advice to give out because as I noted above we welcome everyone to the church and we want you there – particularly on holy days of obligation! However, if you’re not going to pay attention and talk through the entire service or if you’re going to be so preoccupied with your life outside of the church that you can’t give the Lord an hour or so of your time and attention, well you should consider why you’re attending mass in the first place. Somewhere in the Bible it says that going through the motions doesn’t count. In other words, if you go to church just to say (or know in your mind) that you spent an hour in nice clothing listening to a service that you didn’t understand, well… no one is impressed by that except you. If this is your perspective, then chances are you’re breaking most of the suggestions above. Chances are you’re not aware of your surroundings, you’re hanging around primary walkways, you sat down at the end of the pew, you talked or whispered throughout the service, and you’re packing your stuff to leave as soon as the final blessing is over. If that sounds like you, then really consider the question of why you attended in the first place.

While I understand that some of these pieces of advice come off as harsh, the truth is that none of these would even be necessary if we spent more time in this country working on basic manners. And since we don’t spend any time on real manners any more, thus I write this entry to help those of you returning to church either for the first time in a year or the first time since the last major holiday.

Welcome back! Be respectful. Enjoy the service.

That’s the base of information that you need to know for this entry. I’ll add this one, crucial piece of information: given that there is near total devastation in many of New Jersey’s shore communities due to the recent super storm and blizzard, there are a lot of out-of-state people up here helping out at a variety of different companies. For example, I’ve seen utility workers from down south (who are running circles around the New Jersey teams, by the way). I’ve also seen insurance adjusters from out-of-state helping homeowners with their claims.

It’s a group effort to recover here in New Jersey.

With that information out of the way, the title of this entry suggests that there are evangelizers among us – even in Monmouth County! Here’s a story that I sent to some of my friends after spending some time warming up and reading a book at the local Barnes & Noble three nights ago. I think you’ll enjoy this:

I’ve been sitting at Barnes & Noble for about 30 minutes and this insurance adjuster – I can tell he’s not from around here by his accent – was sitting across from me the entire time doing some work. I paid no mind to him – I was just flipping between my cell phone and my NOOK.

Anyway, the guy just gathered his things and got ready to leave. When he was ready to go he came over to me and said, “Sir?” I looked up and said, “Yes.”

He said, “Can I tell you something?” I said, “Yeah.”

He said, “Do you know Jesus Christ?” I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Well, his real name is Jehovah. It’s Yahweh. And he’s coming back soon and I just wanted to tell you that he loves you. Just wanted to tell you that he’s coming back and that he loves you.”

I said, “Thank you.”

And he said, “Alright. Have a good night.” And he walked out of the store.

I’m compelled to write this experience on the blog because this type of stuff just doesn’t happen too often in New Jersey. We’re a state with a lot of skeptical people; we have people who are automatically apprehensive towards those that they don’t know. I’ve visited the South many times and it’s a bit disorienting when you’re walking on the street and random strangers greet you with a genuine, “Good afternoon. How do you do today?” It always stops me in my tracks until I get used to it again. That type of forward communication doesn’t happen in New Jersey unless it’s one person looking at another person the wrong way until someone cracks and says, “What are you looking at?”

It’s our way of life in this state. Don’t judge us.

But I had two immediate reactions to this guy coming up to me and saying what he said. First, I immediately felt warmed up in my spiritual heart. I don’t know about you all out there in internet land, but I go to church each Sunday and on Holy Days and I enjoy going to church. I didn’t always enjoy going to church, but I do now and I hope that I will continue to enjoy going to church. So when this person came up to me to tell me things that I pretty much already know and believe in from the teachings of my church – it just felt good.

Second, as I felt warmed up I began to feel better about the horrible situation that I found myself in with no electricity and a cold home to go back to that night. Hey, Jesus loves me – what else do I need, right?

And the third nearly automatic reaction that I had to this guy was a very small voice in my head saying, “What’s his angle? What’s he up to? Keep an eye on him as he leaves the store and make sure he doesn’t hang around. If he follows you home, drive to the police station instead. Maybe you should confront him outside and see what his deal is. I don’t know if I trust him. He did reference Jesus, but who is he?”

Hey, I’m from New Jersey – I’m skeptical about people sometimes!

Anyway, it was an interesting encounter and an overall good message. Over the last few days, I’ve thought about this message and this guy’s confidence and lack of fear in delivering it. Jesus Christ is coming back and he loves you.

Now that’s a pretty uplifting message if there ever was one!

In the mean time, the New York Daily News reports that they’ve honored the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the 60th Anniversary of the Communist Takeover of China, and gay pride week. In the coming week, they plan to honor Corporate Philanthropy Day and National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Really? You’re going to honor the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Corporate Philanthropy Day and then NOT honor Cardinal Dolan?

Give me a break.

Thankfully, the much bigger, much more important Freedom Tower at 1 World Trade Center decided to make this situation right by bathing the building in red in honor of the new Cardinal. Take a look at these amazing pictures taken by Anthony Quintano and posted on Flickr.com:

I don’t know about you, but the Freedom Tower looks pretty good drenched in the red that is symbolic of the Cardinal’s new attire. Very nicely done by the team at the Port Authority.

As you’ll see, the feed contains just random thoughts, complaints, and observations. I’m not solving world hunger here, folks – I’m just living my life!

On the topic of what is going on with this blog there’s nothing major to update everyone on, but here is the general rundown:

First, for some reason we’ve been receiving a large number of spammy comments. Now, I write “spammy” comments because these comments aren’t your typical “click here for drugs” robotic spam comments, but rather vitriolic hate speech that is actually written by a human being. It’s really some pretty vicious stuff that has no place on a personal blog. And I don’t know how many times I have to write this in the comments section, but this always has been and always will be a personal blog. In other words, what I say goes so if you write a comment that attacks another commenter or blatantly distorts the issues presented in the various updates, you can stick your comment up your ass. Now granted, in the last year we’ve only gotten about 6 or 7 really vitriolic, arrogant, hateful comments and all of those were moderated before they made it on to the site. However, if you plan on writing bullshit and hate in the comments section you might as well save yourself the time because it’s not getting posted, period. My personal blog, my dictatorial rules – very simple to understand.

Second, I have a lot of content written and ready to be posted to the blog, but I’m waiting for the right time. For example, I have my next student loan update written and ready to go for whenever my total amount outstanding drops again (which should be in about a month – more on that in a minute). Also, I’ve been working on some other projects that are taking up some time so I’ve only been writing for the blog in my spare time.

Third, I’ve been working really hard to cull and delete a ton of the tags on this blog. If you don’t know what a “tag” is, it’s the keywords that bloggers use to help their individual pages categorize themselves and rise up in the search engines. A few years ago I utilized a system that provided a whole host of tags for specific keywords and that has bogged down and crapped up the database for the blog. As an example, if I wrote something about my old Chevy Blazer, I would get the following tags added to the database: Chevy, Chevy Blazer, Blazer, Chevrolet, Chevrolet Blazer, Blazer SUV, SUV, Chevy SUV, etc. That’s totally unnecessary. My culling process is reducing all of that gunk to two tags: Chevrolet and Blazer. That’s it – nothing more is needed. Obviously, this is a long process since there are some 6 or 7 thousand of tags in the database that need to be reviewed and deleted. I’m going through them about 250 at a time and I hope to have the project completed by the end of the year.

And the final part of this part of the update is that I’m looking for ways to freshen up the design of the blog. If you’ve been eagle-eyed, then over the last few weeks you might have noticed random updates here and there in certain design features (the addition of the Twitter feed, the lengthening of the Facebook feed, the layout change for news from the other sites that I own, change in some of the external button links, etc). However, I’ve been thinking that it might be time for wholesale change – I just don’t know how far I want to take it. If you have any ideas on how to change the design, please feel free to add them to the comments section of this post (but don’t post hate or it won’t get to see the light of day!).

That’s it for the JerseySmarts.com Update. And before I end the web-based updates I thought I might add that one of the sites that I own through Usable Web Solutions, LLC has really exploded in the last month and a half. Hits to that website have tripled and it is growing into a very respected site. I’m proud of the team that works there and plan to continue providing them with as much support as possible to let the growth continue. As for the rest of my life…

Things have been very busy. Towards the end of January my company moved its offices from Trenton to New Brunswick. That’s about ten miles less of a drive each morning for me, but the same amount of time thanks to the Route 18 traffic (which sucks). However, I tried to bypass most of the heavy traffic by changing my work schedule from 9am-ish to 5pm-ish to 7:45am-ish to 4:00pm-ish. I’m getting up earlier and leaving my house about an hour and a half earlier, but I’m also getting home right at or slightly before 5:00pm, so that’s an hour and a half earlier than the Trenton commute. The change hasn’t been too bad, but when you shift your schedule to work (and live life) an hour and a half earlier, you experience a personal seismic shift.

On my end, I’m finding that I have less time to spend on the computer in the evening (not playing around on the computer, but working on computer-based, paid projects). Also, I find that I’m totally exhausted by about 3:00pm. I think this is happening because my body isn’t used to going to bed at 10:00pm so I wind up tossing and turning for about a half an hour (though I’m totally beat right now and expect to sleep like a log tonight). It’s a change and I’ll get used to it.

Also, we’re getting towards the end of the college basketball season and I’ve been busy attending the Monmouth University men’s basketball team home games. The Hawks have struggled a little bit this season, but they’re starting to show signs of strength heading into their last four games of the season. Oh, and unlike the last few years I don’t really have a ton of pictures to post from these home games. I’ve actually been sitting back and enjoying the games instead of waiting for the perfect camera shot. However, I have taken a small handful of pictures at the games (mostly of the scoreboard after the games are over) and I plan to post them in the next few weeks.

I’ve also been hit with a variety of big expenses in the last few weeks. First, I spent a good deal of money traveling to Washington, DC for a business trip last week (granted, these expenses will be reimbursed, but I have to wait for the reimbursement to arrive). Then, I had my car crap out on me and it cost over eleven hundred bucks to get the thing fixed. And on the same day that I paid to get the car fixed, I co-hosted a fundraiser/donor recognition event at one of the Monmouth home games (which wasn’t a huge expense, but still an irregular expense in my routine budget). While all of these expenses are manageable, they are all irregular costs in my planned budget and they all hit within the same three day period. So… I’m glad that tomorrow is pay day!

Between the big shift in my personal schedule and the time I’ve been spending at the Monmouth games, my health is more or less in a stalemate. I haven’t been to the gym in about three weeks because I can’t figure out this new schedule yet, but my weight hasn’t moved too much and my blood sugar is very stable. I’m glad about the blood sugar being stable because a shift in routine combined with a reduction in the amount of medication that I’m taking could have formed the perfect storm to throw my blood sugar out of whack. On the topic of health, I purchased the Rebel Fitness Guide from Nerd Fitness a few weeks ago and I just finished reading it. Any guy who writes fitness articles and quotes the Lord of the Rings, uses Legos as a graphic tool, and frequently references the video games that I grew up playing and other nerdy topics is alright with me! I expect to begin the Level 1 Rookie workout around the beginning of March so be on the lookout for updates on how I’m progressing with that workout program.

Other than what’s posted above I don’t have many more big updates to provide right now. One of the last originally-written posts that I wrote for the blog was about finding a new church to attend that is close to where I live. Well, I’m still going to church there on a weekly basis and I find it amazing that I used to think that I didn’t have the time to go to church. Absolutely amazing. The services last about 45 – 50 minutes and when you factor in driving there and driving home, I’m only out of the house for about an hour and five minutes each Sunday morning. Who can’t give an hour and five minutes to go to church each week?! In fact, I continue to find that I enjoy going to church to listen to the homilies and the readings and so on. It’s nice – makes you feel good after you leave and gives you guidance for the week.

I’ve also been reading a lot on the NOOK, in The Word Among Us daily meditations, and random articles – so I have a lot to update on the site when I get a moment to do so! Stay tuned and in the mean time, follow me on Twitter @JVince81!

That’s right. I enjoy going to church.

This is my new church - it's a really great house of worship.

I’m sure that there are scores of CCD/Sunday school students, kids, and teenagers who would read that comment and say, “Blech! Church is SOOO boring!” I know. I said the same thing just a few years back. But it’s true – I enjoy attending mass each week.

Before some of you think that I’ve turned into a holy roller or a crazy religious person let me be very clear that that hasn’t happened at all. From time to time I’m unable to go to the weekly mass service and I don’t get hysterical when that happens. Sometimes you just can’t make it to church and as long as your reason for not being able to attend isn’t frivolous, then God understands. However, as I get older I’ve found that I’ve grown into a routine. We all have our routines. You wake up to a certain rhythm, you get ready for bed with a certain rhythm, you arrange your office to a certain rhythm, etc. Over the last few years I’ve found that after I added regular spiritual worship to my weekly routine via weekly mass and (more recently) the occasional penance service, that I really do enjoy attending these services. They’re short, to the point, and a good chance to get out and be part of something bigger than yourself.

And if there is anything that is bigger and more worthy of our attention than ourselves then it obviously has to be the Church.

The church that my Grandmother attended when she was young.

One thing that I’ve been missing in my worship is a dedicated church and parish to call my own. To fix that problem, I spent the better part of each Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning over the last few months trying out different churches. Below you can find some thoughts on what I was looking for in my search for a new church.

Here are a few of the important items that I looked for when I was searching for a new church to attend:

• Interior Church. Let’s face it – we are all greatly influenced by our surroundings in all that we do. When it comes to worship I think you need to be in a place where you feel a good mixture of comfort, reverence, austerity, and ritual.
• Proximity to Current Area. Even though I haven’t moved to a new apartment in three and a half years, I still move around a lot more than other people in my age group. Not having a set place to call home really bungles up some things in life including finding local communities in which to participate. Finding a parish that was near to my current location was important to me because I’ll probably wind up staying in this general area for the next few years.
• Volunteer Opportunities. Many folks who read this blog wonder why I spend so much of my free time volunteering. Well, I enjoy the whole volunteering process including helping people. Understand where I’m coming from, though – I have a few large-scale, national volunteer obligations coming to an end in the next year and I think the next time I dedicate a great portion of my “time, talent, and treasure” to a cause I would like for it to be closer to home. So, the availability of volunteer opportunities is important to me.
• The Process of the Mass. This item may seem a little bit weird to those of you who have not been to multiple Catholic churches, but one of the things that I’m looking for is a little bit of commonality in my masses. Sometimes I got to a mass and I can’t follow the basic parts of the service because the particular church that I’m attending has their own music, process, and/or added verses. For example, I can’t tell you how many different times I’ve heard the “Gloria” sung with different words, added words, different melodies, different tones, etc. It gets confusing and, frankly, a bit annoying. Makes me wonder about the fuller impact of the Third Roman Missal, but that’s a blog entry for another time.
• The Songs. The parish that I wound up registering at has an excellent selection of music for each service. They don’t choose obscure songs in the hymnal, but instead choose songs that the people will probably know. For example, during the Christmas season at my church we’ve sang Ode to Joy, Hail Holy Queen, Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, etc. There’s no reason to sing some ancient, old song that no one “gets” these days. The church that I registered at understands that fact and gives the parishioners the opportunity to sing songs during mass that are known in most households.

The first picture in this entry is a picture of St. Catherine of Siena Church in Farmingdale. It is a great place to worship. The second picture above is from Our Lady Star of the Sea Church in Long Branch. This is the church that my Grandmother attended as a child with my Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother. Of all the churches that I attended, I would prefer to attend Our Lady Star of the Sea simply because of the family connection. However, this church is a bit far from where I live – about 25 minutes away – so I only plan to attend services at that building every once in a while.

There you have the summation of my great church search during the latter part of 2011. I’m very pleased with the church that I wound up registering at which is only about ten minutes from my house. The interior of the church is beautiful and they keep it very clean and tidy. There seem to be ample volunteer opportunities if at some point in the future I decide that I want to volunteer for the church locally. There is a very consistent, very by-the-book process for the mass. The songs are all well-known and not obscure, random songs that don’t connect with the congregants. It appears to be a great parish to grow in faith and I’m looking forward to continuing to attend services there in 2012.

Dozens of parishioners walked out of a Mass at the former Our Lady, Star of the Sea Roman Catholic Church on Sunday at the moment their former priest was introduced as pastor of the newly formed Christ the King church.

The parishioners, who attended St. John the Baptist church until they were locked out of the building in May because of a consolidation plan, then marched back to their former place of worship and organized a service on the sidewalk.

“They have ignored us for far too long,” said Victoria Collett, alluding to the Diocese of Trenton. She was among dozens of people who wore white T-shirts that read, “Save Our Church.”

The Diocese merged St. John the Baptist, Holy Trinity and Our Lady, Star of the Sea into Christ the King in part because of a scarcity of priests, lack of financial resources and dwindling attendance, said the Rev. Sam Sirianni, who headed a committee that studied the consolidation.

Many of the hundreds of people who attended St. John the Baptist were of Latino and Brazilian descent, Sirianni said. Many of those among the dwindling population at Our Lady, Star of the Sea were descendants of Irish immigrants from decades ago, he said.

The major gripe talked about in the story is that the parishioners of St. John the Baptist Church do not want to be a part of the newly formed Christ the King Church. As it suggests in the story, some parishioners feel as though they were not told the entire truth in terms of how the diocesan consolidation would affect their Church.

Personally, I’m sad for another reason – I’m sad to see the Our Lady Star of the Sea parish consolidated with the others. No, not for reasons of mixing cultures (which I’m in favor of here), but because my family has history at Our Lady Star of the Sea Church. My Grandmother used to go to Church there and my Great Grandfather had his funeral at that Church. Plus, I think it was a fitting name for a seaside parish – Our Lady Star of the Sea.

I’m unsure of how this particular situation will work itself out, but I do hope that – in the end – everyone remembers that they should be attending Church (whichever Church that winds up being) for the right reasons.