Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

Taking a Brief Look at my 2009 Christmas Staycation

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Like many people out there reading the interwebs, today is my first day back in the office since Tuesday, December 22, 2009. That’s 12 days of not being in the office and, instead, treating myself to a staycation. Here’s a brief look at what I accomplished during my Christmas staycation.

Usable Web Solutions, LLC. In terms of what I accomplished over the break, I would have to say that the most progress was made on updating and upgrading certain aspects of my website company. Of these upgrades the most important include revising portions of my standard client contract for services and integrating a few important dates into my local copy of Outlook’s calendar system. Now I’ll be warned a few weeks ahead of time of contracts that are ready to expire and I’ll be able to offer my clients a new contract using the upgraded copy that I completed over the break.

I was also able to complete at least one new website over the staycation, but I cannot announce that website yet since it is not yet “live” on the servers. Maybe more important than completing that website, though, was the time that I spent pouring over the records of my website company to single out those deadbeat clients and marking those business relationships for termination in 2010. As a small business owner, I understand that I am going to run into some people who are just not good at creating lasting business relationships. I get it – it’s part of the game. However, I purposely keep my small business small because I have a day job as well as two other jobs (teaching) and I don’t need the aggravation of deadbeat customers. By the end of 2010, I should be rid of these deadbeat customers once and for all (in fact, I’ve already severed my relationship with one of those companies earmarked for removal).

Teaching/Learning. Since I am teaching two courses in the spring, there are a number of materials that I needed to prepare to be ready for the new semester. These two courses are new to me and one of them is new to the college where I am teaching it. I teach at two colleges – one is an all-online college and the other is a bricks and mortar institution. I accomplished the feat (and it was a feat, believe me) of learning the online teaching system for the all-online college. Through learning this system, I prepared myself for teaching the all-online class which actually begins today.

However, for the new course that I designed and created, I accomplished very little. That’s okay, though, since I have another three weeks before the course even begins. In the next three weeks, I’ll get all of the necessary course material prepare for this class so I have no worries about being ready to go in the spring semester.

And finally, I wanted to pick up the textbooks necessary for the course that I am taking at the local college, but the syllabus has not been released yet and thus I didn’t know what to buy! Nothing I can do about that one, I guess!

Relaxation. The most important thing that one needs to accomplish during a staycation is reaching a level of relaxation that makes the break worth the paid time off. I think that I accomplished that level of relaxation, though I have to admit that I’m not sure. Last year during this Christmas holidays I took off the same amount of time from the office as I did this year. Yet last year I distinctly remember feeling relaxed and completely refreshed by Thursday/Friday of the staycation. This year, I don’t know if I achieved that feeling of relaxation, though I do know that by Thursday/Friday of the break I was getting slightly stir crazy from being in my apartment so much!

All in all, I’m glad to be back in the office today just so I have something different to do with my time. However, I wouldn’t mind taking a few more days off so I can kick back and relax without having to worry about preparing for teaching two classes or dealing with deadbeat website clients. Maybe I’ll take some time to do that this summer…

Unnecessary Complications: Long Lines at the Post Office!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Why is it that the lines at the Oakhurst Post Office in Monmouth County are always jam packed?! I was over at the post office about two days before Christmas (which means that everyone already had their holiday packages sent) and the line was at least 8 people deep in the middle of the day. First of all, why weren’t these people at work?! I wasn’t at work because I took a personal day – what’s their excuse?

Second, why is it that this particular post office is always jam packed with people? I know that the people working there are absolutely amazing (they really are the best postal employees that I’ve ever encountered – kind, courteous, knowledgeable, etc), but I just can’t understand why this post office is always filled up with customers. There aren’t a great abundance of post office boxes and the location of the building is slightly off of a main highway, so I don’t know if that has any impact on the traffic. But I do know that when I go to this particular post office, I usually have to wait about 10 minutes in line before I get to the teller.

Which brings up another point – why isn’t there an express lane at this post office? With the amount of traffic that comes through this place, you’d expect that they would put in a “fast lane” for people who are sending one envelope or who are just buying stamps. Instead, I often get caught behind people with dozens (no exaggeration) of boxes from their personal eBay businesses. I guess Ocean Township in Monmouth County is a hotbed of activity for eBay businesses or something. Weird.

Anyway, I went into this post office a few days before Christmas to send one package to a charity that I support on the West Coast and it took me about 20 minutes to send out a single package (which I had pre-packed before I arrived at the building). It was absolutely amazing and definitely an unnecessary complication for someone trying to complete a bunch of errands before heading away for the Christmas holiday.

Holiday Humor – The Christmas Party Memo

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

My apologies on this entry coming in WAY later than originally anticipated. Better late than never, right? Anyway, on with the post as I prepared it…before Christmas!

Over the years different variations of this joke have crossed by my inbox. The latest variation was sent to me the other day by my Mom and I got a kick out of it (again) and thought I should share! Actually, this is a longer version of the joke that I received in the e-mail, so I think that an extended version of the fake e-mail chain would provide some extra humor.


MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES
RE: Christmas PARTY ON DEC. 23RD
DATE: DEC. 1ST

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other type of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table … you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE
ALLOWED.


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps Luigi’s can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party — the days are so short this time of year — or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed though. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?

Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice…what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi’s prohibit the burning of sage by our “earth-based Goddess-worshiping” employees, but we’ll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the
band’s breaks. Okay???

Patty


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of “Santa” does happen to be “Satan,” there is no evil connotation to our own “little man in a red suit.” It’s a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine’s Day.

Could we lighten up? Please????????? Also the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail sent to your home.


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #%&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The %#*&^%@*%^Holiday Party

I have no #%&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the %#&^!@ do I care…I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and you are dead!!!!!!!!!!!! No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!!!!!!!!!!

Vegetarians!?!?!? I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your #$%^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right now! > HA !

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me!!!!!!!!!!!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!


FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Brief Thoughts on Christmas and Vacation Plans

Monday, December 28th, 2009

Can it be Monday again already? Geez… It seems like the holidays come quicker and quicker each year and they fly by just as fast. It’s amazing, really. I had a great Christmas this year which started with my Mom’s annual Christmas Eve Party with the family and into a great Christmas morning with my Mom and brothers. My younger cousin’s baby girl was at the Christmas Eve Party (she’s one and a half years old). She was opening presents that my Mom and the family got for her and she seemed to love it. You know, no one appreciates or enjoys the thrill of opening a present on Christmas morning (or in this case, Christmas Eve), than a young kid. They just love it and it’s fun to watch their excitement!

I’m on vacation from work this week (actually, my vacation started after work this past Tuesday night, but who’s keeping track anyway?). I don’t have to be back in the office until next Monday, January 4th, 2010. Including today, that leaves me with seven more days of vacation before going back to the office and I plan on doing as little as possible during the next seven days!

Last year during this same time frame I went on a “staycation” and it was the only time during the entire year that I actually relaxed and unwound from the office. While I have some preparatory work to do for the new class that I created and am now teaching at the local college this spring, I hope to achieve the same level of rest and relaxation that I achieved last year at this time. Between teaching the new class at the local college, accepting an online teaching position at a statewide online college, running my website company, serving as a Trustee on the national board of my fraternity’s foundation, and my day job – I’ve got a big spring season ahead of me. When factoring that I might have to pickup and move to a new place at the end of my current lease, everything becomes all the more complicated.

But hey, if you’re not busy, then you’re not living – right? :-)

I have a bunch of backlogged entries to upload to the blog (last I counted there were some 20 entries waiting to be uploaded). So be sure that you stick around this week and see what’s going on at JerseySmarts.com!

Hey Everyone – Merry Christmas 2009!

Friday, December 25th, 2009

From all of us at JerseySmarts.com (me) to all of this site’s readers and passersby, we (I) hope you have a Merry Christmas and enjoy today with your friends, family, and loved ones.

Merry Christmas!

I’ll be spending the day with my family up at my Mom’s house, but I’ll be back in Tinton Falls by tonight. Remember to check back at JerseySmarts.com throughout the coming week as I have a great deal of content that will be uploaded between now and New Year’s Day.

Until then, though, enjoy the rest of the day and have a very Merry Christmas! And in case you didn’t get a chance to read them, be sure to check out some of the poems posted at JerseySmarts.com over the last few weeks: Here Comes Santa on Christmas Eve | It’s Christmas Time in New Jersey | The Real Meaning of Christmas

Here Comes Santa on Christmas Eve

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Our friend Joseph P. Martino of Millburn, New Jersey is back with another one of his poems – right in time for Christmas Eve! Joe sent me this poem a few weeks ago and granted me permission to post it on JerseySmarts.com on the day before Christmas. When I read this poem it brought up a mental image of the idyllic Christmas scene – a happy small town dancing and prancing to the holiday spirit with family and friends enjoying one another’s company as the big day draws near. I imagine lots of festive lights and caroling…you know, the type of stuff that you’d see in one of those great Christmas movies or a Normal Rockwell painting.

Here comes Santa on Christmas Eve
by Joseph Martino

Here comes Christmas it’s that time of time of year for Santa
to appear.

snow is falling on the ground,…..everywhere you look snowflakes
can be found.children wearing mittens in the snow,…..making snow
balls they intend to throw.

jingle bells a ringing, jing-a-ling,the sounds of Christmas echos
ring. parents and children skate on the lake,…..the children
home for holiday break.

Children dream of Santa Clause,…..as parents shop without a pause.
the days are bright, the nights so clear,….the love and spirit of Christmas permeates throughout the wintery air.

Christmas carols sung at night,….under a dancing moon that glows
so bright.chestnuts roasting, grownups toasting this special time of
year,…..after a nip or two, all our woe’s and troubles seem to
disappear.

here comes santa it’s Christmas Eve,….he’s finally here it’s hard
to believe. santa and his reindeers are now flying high,….their
lonely silhouettes dot the blackboard sky.

Empty stockings line the living room wall, hung for boys and girls
who have images of santa’s gifts racing through their minds,….
all in hope that they will find,…..their stockings filled to the
very top with toys and presents of every kind.

copyright joseph p.martino 2004 authored oct.1,2004

Thanks once again, Joe, for a great Christmas poem to get everyone in the spirit!


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