Last week when I was trying to plan a brunch for Mother’s Day, I called up one of the local buffet breakfast places up in North Jersey where my Mom lives. The purpose of the call was to make reservations, but let’s be honest - trying to make reservations a few days before Mother’s Day usually means that you’re not going to get in. My mindset was, “This ain’t going to happen, but I might as well give it a shot.”

I called the place and the woman on the phone answered with a type of, “Hello?” where it sounded like she was lost in a cave somewhere. I said, “Hi, I was hoping that I could make reservations for Mother’s Day?” She responded, “Huh?” in a manner such that she didn’t know what was going on. A little perplexed myself I said, “I’d like to make reservations for this Sunday on Mother’s Day.” She said, “Oh, I think we’re all booked. Let me check.”

As she checked the book she made some odd sounds - sort of a crunching, binding sound. Very weird. Then she came back with, “We have availability at night, but our brunch is all booked up.” I said, “Oh, I was hoping for the brunch. Okay, thanks,” and I went to hang up the phone. Out of the corner of my ear I heard, “Well wait, let me check again.”

Odd - I thought she just checked.

Then she came back with, “I can fit you in at 1pm.” For a variety of reasons, this was too late for me and my family so I said, “Oh, no thanks. That’s a little bit too late for us, we were hoping for something earlier. That’s okay. No problem. I guess I should have called a few days ago. Thanks!” And as I got ready to hang up the phone (again) I heard the woman say, “Well it’s Friday today and you’re looking to make a reservation for Sunday I mean we’re obviously booked up.”

Ugh…thank you Captain Confrontational for repeating my own words. Stupid idiot.

Instead of just hanging up, which I should have done, I said to the woman, “Yes. That’s what I just said. If you do not have anything for the morning that’s fine. We need reservations for the morning, but it’s no problem. Thanks again.” The woman started to say something else - obviously looking for a telephonic fight - and I just hung up the phone before I could hear what she was saying.

How stupid are some people? Listen - if you’re the person on the other end of the line at these restaurants, then you need to understand that not everyone is looking for a fight! Granted, this story is comical at this point, but still - get a grip! The woman was right and I knew it going into the phone call - it was way too late to get any reservations. Okay, fine. But then to want to harp on a mutually agreed upon fact? Come on!

Anyway, I thought I’d share the stupidity with everyone.

As if having a police force that entered renters’ homes at all hours of the night without a warrant or probable cause wasn’t enough, my roommate picked up on this news story yesterday: Pregnant Policewoman’s Request for Light Duty Denied by New Jersey Township Officials. Granted, due to the increased scrutiny from a national media, this story has come to a somewhat amicable resolution, but how much more bullshit needs to happen in Ocean Township before there is real change in this town?!

Stories abound at Monmouth University about the way that the Ocean Township Police Department violates the civil rights of those students who live off-campus (yes, including the vast majority of student renters who are NOT blights on the local community). The local papers run near-weekly stories about major drug busts in Ocean Township. A few years ago the Mayor of Ocean Township was federally indicted for bribing local business owners (and, oddly enough, shortly after the Mayor was indicted the top Code Enforcement official and Chief of Police both retired…shady anyone?). Local high school kids are rounded up by the dozen and arrested for underage drinking (which I’m not opposed to - but arresting? Come on…).

Just search Ocean Township on this blog and you’ll find years and years worth of ridiculous stories coming out of this town. And now we can add this to the bunch - not immediately accommodating a decorated, pregnant police officer. Shameful. Downright shameful.

In the mean time, check out New Jersey Carpet Cleaning for the best carpet cleaning in the Garden State!

Hard to believe that a story like this would surface in the year 2008, but here it is: Candidate speaks at Hitler birthday party. Come on. COME ON! You mean to tell me that the guy running for this Congressional seat - a guy named Tony Zirkle - walked into that room and thought, “Hey, this is a great idea!”??? I almost can’t believe it.

If you haven’t, please click on that link above and take a look at this ridiculous picture of this moron candidate standing in front of a picture of Adolf Hitler and huge swastika flags. I’m almost at a loss for words on this one. I just can’t believe this guy - who is (was) a legitimate candidate for this Congressional seat - walked into that room and told himself that it was completely okay to stand in front of that gathering, in front of Hitler, and talk about Jesus Christ. Believe me, my religion is all about evangelizing and spreading the good Word, but come on! If you’re running for office you CANNOT stand in front of Hitler in a room draped in Nazi regalia!

Where is the judgment these days? How is the public supposed to trust their political candidates when they make such stupid decisions? Again, I can sympathize with wanting to spread the good Word to even the most jaded constituencies, but this was not a bright move. In fact, it’s downright insulting. Had the candidate agreed to speak in a different room or in a manner such that he didn’t look like he was endorsing the neo-Nazis, I may have a different take on all of this. But what they say is true - a picture is worth a thousand words and the picture in that article speaks for itself.

Idiot.

Yahoo Mail recently upgraded its e-mail services so that you can now use a quasi-Microsoft Outlook type of screen to view your mail. There are many benefits to having this type of set-up, but one of the drawbacks is the automatic advertisements that are embedded in different areas of the screen. Alright, so they’re not SO bad, but this advertisement really pissed me off:

Take a good look at that advertisement. What type of support is superior? Personal support? No… Presonal support? Yes!

Presonal support? PRESONAL support?!? What the hell does PRESONAL mean? How the hell did something like this get published on the internet on one of the highest viewed web-based e-mail platforms?! If I was the owner of the company that purchased this advertisement, I’d be off my rocker with aggravation.

But I’m glad that these bozos actually had this pathetic advertisement printed. In reality, this type of shoddy workmanship is endemic in all areas of life and it is becoming more and more widespread as time goes on. What do we expect from younger generations that are completely fine with writing: hI R U up 2 nething kewl 2day??

It’s pathetic.

Anyone who is unfortunate enough to watch this self-righteous loser’s show on HBO (a channel that my apartment will hopefully be canceling on May 1st), knows that Bill Maher is a jerk. He’s the type of arrogant, pompous prick who thinks that his thoughts are better than everyone else’s and that - because he’s smarter that you are - you should just take his “witty” barbs in jest. In case you haven’t heard, the New York Daily News can fill us in on what this dirtbag said about the Pope the other night:

“Whenever a cult leader sets himself up as God’s infallible wing man here on Earth, lock away the kids,” said Maher, comparing the Catholic Church to the polygamist cult authorities raided in Texas last week.

“I’d like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult,” Maher said. “Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats.”

After Maher said this, he flashed a picture of Pope Benedict XVI on the screen. Not only is this disturbing and disgusting, but it shows that Maher has a gross lack of understanding of reality. All this desperate-for-ratings-jerk had to do was listen to ONE comment that the Pope made since he arrived in America a few days ago to realize that he has reached out to the extreme minority of Catholics who have been abused by bastards who managed to make their way into the priesthood. All this loser had to do was open his ears (not even his mind, just his ears) and listen to the healing words spoken by the Pope. The Pope stopped and met with an inter-religious group the other night to let them know that we’re all in this thing together. The man has been the very height of religious professionalism and ecumenical evangelism since he assumed the Papacy and since he entered America.

Now, I know that this loser Maher said these disgusting, hurtful words because he wanted to get people like me to write posts like this. I also know that he wants to get people like me to watch his apology on his show tonight. Well, Maher proves once again that he knows nothing about our religion. If Maher is truly sorry for his words, then he has my forgiveness and the forgiveness of the Church. We don’t need to watch his stupid show to hear him say, “I’m sorry.” We are, however, also consumers of goods and as a consumer of HBO I choose to vote with my dollars and no longer have this channel on my lineup.

In the act of drawing a higher rating to his program, I hope that Bill Maher has set-off an Imus-like firestorm and eventually finds himself unemployed. He’s disgusting and should be shunned by all.

The Georgia chapter of the NAACP is questioning the sentences handed down to those two bimbos in the infamous “Barbie Bandits” bank heist cases. They are questioning why the two young white women received less harsh sentences than the two black men involved in the case.

In an attempt to save the great state of Georgia - and its hardworking taxpayers - some money, let me quote from the CBS article linked above:

Michael Chastang, 28, was sentenced to 10 years for being the mastermind of the robbery, and bank teller Bennie Allen III, 23, who pleaded guilty, was sentenced to five years. Both men are black. Chastang also is serving 15 years on unrelated drug-trafficking charges and Allen was on probation for a drug conviction.

So one of these fellows had additional drug-trafficking charges on his plate and the other one was on probation for a prior drug conviction. The dopey blondes did not have any such prior or contingent records. Is there really a need for an investigation here? If you commit a crime and then commit ANOTHER crime, your penalty is harsher - bottom line.

Geez, some people are just stupid…

This e-mail has been sitting in my mail folder for almost a year. It’s called, “They Walk Among Us,” and it refers to the many completely clueless people that are out there in this world. For those of you that have seen the movie Idiocracy, this is the beginning of the end!

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again…same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
—— They Walk Among Us

I walked into a Mickey D’s with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said “buy one-get one free.” “They’re already buy-one-get-one-free”, she said, “so I guess they’re both free” She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
——They Walk Among Us

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, “Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and said, “Where?”
——They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
—— They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”
—— They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
—— They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
—— They Walk Among Us!

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?”
—— They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”
—— They Walk Among Us!

The sad thing is that we all know people like this…dummies.

Just thought I’d add a comment that passed through my head this morning as I was driving to work. Do you ever find yourself in the left lane (the fast lane) and you’re moving along at a regular pace until you come to a car that is going about ten miles below the limit?

Happens all of the time in New Jersey (especially on I-195). Well, I understand that some people don’t drive as fast as others, but what always confuses me is that sometimes you get the person in front of you to switch into the slower, right lane and then they speed up! I generally coast along with my cruise control so I know that I don’t slow down - what gives?

When you are essentially bumped out of the fast lane and forced to switch into the slow lane, why the hell would you speed up in the slow lane?! Geez, if you had been going that fast to begin with you wouldn’t have been bumped into the slower lane!

New Jersey.

Anyone who lives in New Jersey knows that there are two kinds of police officers. The first (and more prevalent) type of officer is the man or woman who is out to do some good for his or her community. These are the folks who always wanted to be police officers and who always wanted to serve the greater good. The second (and more talked about) type of officer is the complete asshole. You know this guy - this is the one who pulled you over and got in your face just because he felt like it. This is the police officer who broke up your college party, but also punched three people in the face while doing so. This is the guy who stops you on the boardwalk and slams you down on the ground because there’s nothing you can do about. This is the prick with the snide comments while he’s writing you a ticket or standing outside of your car.

And this is the type of police officer that just cost Seaside Park $1,271,000. Wait - you think that’s bad? Here’s a clip from the linked article:

The borough’s insurance carrier, the Ocean County Joint Insurance Fund, has previously settled five excessive force claims for more than $1.5 million over the past 2 1/2 years. A total of 14 excessive force lawsuits were filed against the police department over the past three years.

Overly aggressive police officers have cost Seaside Park $2.8 million. I don’t know about you, but if I was the Mayor or the Chief of Police, I’d be going ape shit at my officers. In fact, I’d be on a firing spree. I don’t think you’ll find that in Seaside Park, though. If you read the article, it goes on to say:

The settlements have included no admission of wrongdoing by Seaside Park or its police department. The officers involved, and their attorneys, have strongly denied using excessive force in any of the cases. No officer has ever been disciplined for any action related to the cases.

So not only have these police officers cost Seaside Park almost $3 million in insurance expenses, but they’re not admitting that they’re wrong. Of course they are admitting wrongdoing via the huge payouts, but there is no official, “Hey, we’re sorry. Our bad.”

What a sad commentary on some of the people who get into law enforcement, huh? And the worst part is that not only are these the type of police officers getting headlines, but they are the only ones getting headlines, period. If the egomaniacs and those with Napoleon complexes would just get out of law enforcement, we wouldn’t have to deal with such aggravating stories.

But that’s New Jersey for you…

Just when you think that New Jersey can’t become a bigger disaster than it already is…surprise! The state has come in and screwed up once again. Only this time, not only does their mistake hit critically close to home, it actually contradicts previous decisions by state agencies and (most importantly) promises to destroy the open area that so many of us fight so hard to preserve.

Some of you may be familiar with the acronym COAH. In New Jersey, this means Council on Affordable Housing. This state is in so many crunches at once that it’s hard to keep a handle on all of the problems that are going on, but we are in serious need of affordable housing. For those of you that aren’t up to speed on what “affordable housing” means in New Jersey - this isn’t government housing, it’s not “the projects,” it’s not the place where the drug addicts live, etc. In New Jersey, a new term has come to take the place of affordable housing: workforce housing.

Believe it or not America, New Jersey’s workers cannot afford to live in this state. Nurses, young doctors, police officers, government employees, cashiers, retail managers, salesmen, waiters - no one can afford to buy a new home in New Jersey unless they come from a two income household that is making at least or above our state’s median income (roughly $67,000 depending on whose numbers you believe). New Jersey is not affordable for ANYONE.

The latest smack in the face comes as a one-two punch from Governor Money Bags and COAH and is directed at most non-urban areas in the state. Just last week Governor Money Bags told many of the smaller municipalities that they were having their state aid drastically reduced. As if that wasn’t bad enough, COAH has announced what they call “Round Three” requirements for New Jersey’s municipalities. Round Three will tell the state’s towns, boroughs, and cities how many units of affordable housing they need to produce.

Aside from Money Bags diverting even MORE money away from the suburbs, it would seem that being told what your affordable housing obligations are isn’t the worst thing in the world, right?

Wrong.

In Round Three many suburbs are facing an obligation that is QUADRUPLE what they were previously held accountable for. Take the case in my hometown of Roxbury Township. Not only does their COAH obligation jump from some 245 units to 837 units, but Roxbury was told by ANOTHER state agency that they can no longer build in the green areas of the township! What does COAH want to have happen here? Would they like it if the existing housing - which has stood for decades, even centuries - was knocked down so higher density homes can be put in their place? Completely outrageous!

Taken from the Roxbury Register article:

Councilman Richard Zoschak said this latest COAH proposal just causes more confusion and presents more contradictions.

“How do we deal with the Highlands legislation and this? The Highlands legislation says no building here. COAH says we have to build here,” Zoschak said.

Sustainable growth in New Jersey? Not a chance. Continued destruction of the non-urban areas so more money can be pumped into Newark and Camden? Absolutely! More from the article…

Smith faulted the state for having what he called “no coherence, no coordination and no central planning mechanism.”

“We are all being told what to do by different parties, all with power, and they all conflict with one another,” he said.

For those of you who do not live in New Jersey, let me explain how this state’s government “works.” COAH says that Township A needs to create 50 units of affordable housing. The Highlands Council says that Township A only has enough space to put up 5 single family homes. The State Planning Commission approves Township A’s master plan that cites no buildings may be built over 3 stories high. The Governor’s Office tells Township A to meet its COAH obligation or it gets no more state money.

What is the Township to do? They only have room for 5 more single family homes, but - assuming that these open lots are all next to each other (which is near impossible) - are they to build an extremely high density 3-story apartment building (in an area likely not zoned for apartment buildings) with extremely small, 600 square foot (if that) rental units so they meet all of the above obligations? Oh, and this would be built in a generic neighborhood setting where there are no apartment buildings and only single family homes. Oh, and for each apartment you need to provide one and a half parking spaces (in a residential neighborhood, mind you). Oh, and these are affordable units, which means they have to be income restricted and not just any citizen can apply to rent a unit. Oh, and with such a high density unit police, fire, sanitation, and civil services need to be increased (spending more taxpayer money). Oh, and Township A may need to create a housing authority (spend more taxpayer money) to oversee this complex.

Listen. I’m one of the many people in this state who NEED workforce housing to exist. I cannot afford to buy a decent home in New Jersey and - right now - I can only afford to pay a very low monthly rent. But if the plan above is Governor Money Bags’ idea of how to plan for MY future housing needs, then he can take this plan and shove it.

When will it stop in New Jersey?