June « 2008 « JerseySmarts.com

It’s Really Good To See You.

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Joe spoke about the inability of college students to transition into the “real world” post-college graduation. Actually, independence and beginning a career are two things that I look forward to with decided enthusiasm. It’s everythigng else.

I suppose we all go through the same shit, I guess. I’ve concluded that my life doesn’t evolve. It’s on spin cycle, moving slowly in the same exact circle since I was 14 years old. They say that when you go to college, everything changes. It’s a time of personal growth physically, mentally, and emotionally. In theory, you go to college and bury your face in some books, some legs, and some bottles of beer and you emerge an enlightened, refined individual. You meet new people, you learn new ideas, you do different things, and I guess that’s all true. Here I am though, having the same problems, the same conversations with the same people. It’s like those past four years have now been blacked out, they didn’t happen. The only trace of this personal growth is the incessant bitching and whining about how nothing will ever be that good ever again. That this is it. We’re fucked.

Really, that’s all I have to say. Perhaps this frustration, confusion, and sense of overwhelming uncertainty sounds familiar to you. If it does, then the rest of this is for you. Perhaps the following situation is remotely familiar to you (actual translation is in parentheses).

Me: “Oh wow, hey man, I haven’t seen you in awhile. How’ve you been?” (Jesus christ, I remember this fucking loser)
You: “Oh, I’m good, bro. I’m just over at the Thompson’s working at the bar.” (Jesus christ, I didn’t want him to see me, but I work at Thompson’s, I’m so cool.)
Me: “Great man, that’s very cool. I will see you around.” (This kid is actually proud of that. What an idiot.)
You: “Sounds good, bro.” (He thought he was a big shot, but now he is 100k in debt and hanging out in the places I’ve been at all along. Idiot.”

And see, the problem is, this stupid motherfucker is right. He’s totally right and we both know it. Here I am, here my friends are with our fancy college degrees and we are right back with all of these idiots in the same exact place. I know I’m better than these people, and time will eventually reveal this, or so I’m taught to believe. But right now, tonight, there is no substantial proof of my superiority over this idiot that is proud of working at Thompson’s. And depression sets in.

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Tags: College Graduation, College Students, Confusion, Conversations, Different Things, Exact Circle, Frustration, Fucking Loser, Great Man, Legs, Life Doesn, Meet People, Parentheses, Personal Growth, Real World, Spin Cycle, Thompson, Transition, Translation, Uncertainty
Posted in College & Fraternity Life, Idiots, Morons, & Fools, Jokes & Humor | No Comments »

Don Imus Really Doesn’t Like Black People

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Well, here’s some breaking news from the world of radio: Don Imus REALLY doesn’t like black people. Earlier today, Don Imus was speaking about Dallas Cowboys CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, who has dealt wtih a slew of legal troubles dating back to his time as a student at West Virginia. Jones recently decided to ditch the name “Pacman” in an effort to revamp his damaged image and leave his troubled past behind.

Imus and Warner Wolf discussed Jones’ meaningless public relations move on-air this morning:

Wolf: “Defensive back Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, recently signed by the Cowboys. Here’s a guy suspended all of 2007 following a shooting in a Vegas night club.”

Imus: “Well, stuff happens. You’re in a night club, for God’s sake. What do you think’s gonna happen in a night club? People are drinking, they’re doing drugs. There are women there, and people have guns. So, there, go ahead.”

Wolf: “He’s also been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005.”

Imus: “What color is he?”

Wolf: “He’s African-American.”

Imus: “Well, there you go. Now we know.”

Wow. There have been two early, albeit entirely different reactions to this rather new story. Some are calling for the immediate termination of Imus this afternoon, while others are arguing that Imus meant that it is no surprise that Jones has been arrested so frequently given that police profile blacks. Both groups are morons.

The notion that he was attacking the subject of racial profiling with his comments is absurd. Please. If he wanted to pontificate on such a complex and sensitive subject, surely he would have offered more than simply, “Well, there you go. Now we know.”

Don Imus is racist. Accept it. Don’t listen. And if you don’t want to support the companies that advertise on his show, then don’t. It’s his act, it’s what he gets paid to do, so why the hell is anybody actually surprised or even outraged at his recent comments? It was only a matter of time.

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Tags: Adam Pacman Jones, Breaking News, Cb, Dallas Cowboys, Ditch, Don Imus, Legal Troubles, Night Club, Notion, Public Relations, Racial Profiling, Sake, Sensitive Subject, Sirius XM, Six Times, Slew, Vegas Night, Virginia Jones, Warner Wolf, Wolf, Women Guns
Posted in Entertainment, Idiots, Morons, & Fools | No Comments »

McCain Suggests $300 Million Prize

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

A few days ago I posted a review for former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s new book, Real Change. Somewhere in this book Speaker Gingrich talks about the need for large monetary prizes from the government which will spur an innovation revolution. It would appear that Senator John McCain read that chapter as he is proposing a $300 million prize for the first person who develops, “an automobile battery that far surpasses existing technology.” From the article:

The bounty would equate to $1 for every man, woman and child in the country, “a small price to pay for helping to break the back of our oil dependency,” McCain said in remarks prepared for delivery Monday at Fresno State University in California.

McCain said such a device should deliver power at 30 percent of current costs and have “the size, capacity, cost and power to leapfrog the commercially available plug-in hybrids or electric cars.”

I think everyone in America would be willing to pay $1 for such technology to be created. But why stop there? Why not make the contest aspire to even greater heights and look for a battery that can be mega-mass produced not just in America, but around the world? This type of engine could breathe life back into Detroit and make GM the number one name in automobiles once again. In fact, if every American is willing to pay $1 for McCain’s competition, then wouldn’t we all be willing to pay $3.33 so we can create a $1 billion prize? I’d be down for it.

This is the type of innovation that will put America back on top of the leading edge of science and technology. We will, however, have to rely on foreign scientists and immigrant scientists to make these discoveries, but that’s another topic for another time. Hey, maybe if we can figure out this type of automobile technology we can figure out how to make math and science interesting in our schools again!

Archive for June, 2008

It’s Really Good To See You.

Don Imus Really Doesn’t Like Black People

McCain Suggests $300 Million Prize