Minding the Campus is a great website that keeps an eye on the many oddities that seem to take place at college campuses. You know these oddities - the private school that believes they do not have to follow American law, the public school that believes they can restrict a student’s right to freely express their views (in a non-harmful way), the college professor that bashes and berates America…while he lives and raises a family in the very country he seems to hate. There are illogical happenings all over college campuses and Minding the Campus is one of the best sites to monitor what’s going on.

Just recently they posted a commentary by Charlotte Allen that discussed the increasing costs of college textbooks. This is one of the most thoughtful, thorough discussions of this topic that I’ve read and the comments on the post are equally as thought-provoking. If you have the time in your day, I highly suggest reading this commentary.

For what it’s worth, my stance as an Adjunct Professor is to assign textbooks that deliver the message of the course and - most importantly - help students learn the material. If that goal can be achieved with a used text or text that is cheaper than a brand new book, then I’m happy to assign an older text for the students.

While looking around FOXNews.com I noticed a story about a high school student arguing that his “American Government” textbook is biased. The article cites some parts of the textbook that claim global warming is still being studied and that the Supreme Court decision on striking down the Texas law regarding gay sex harmed the fragility of the federal system.

What bothers me is that this story is nothing more than a high school student with too much time on his hands - and a considerable liberal bend - trying to take the low road on each of these debates. The low road, as anyone who keeps an eye on political discourse can tell you, is to immediately claim that the other side’s argument is wrong and presents an inherent bias. It’s sad, really.

But I don’t blame the kid. In fact, I admire his will to put himself out there in the public eye. I do, however, blame the horrible education system in New Jersey that apparently has failed this child. A citation from the article linked above:

Another part of the book that the report criticizes deals with a Supreme Court decision overturning a Texas law banning sexual contact between people of the same sex.

The authors wrote that the Supreme Court decision had a “benefit” and a “cost.” The benefit, it said, was to strike down a rarely enforced law that could probably not be passed today, while the cost was to “create the possibility that the court, and not Congress or state legislatures, might decide whether same-sex marriages were legal.”

Derek Araujo, the report’s author, said that’s a matter of opinion and that gay-rights activists, for example, see it differently. “The major problem with this is they describe the costs and benefits of the system in a very political way,” he said.

No, you morons, this is not a matter of opinion. Stop blurring the fucking issue that the textbook is talking about, damn it. The “political” part of this debate is not looking at the issue in terms of American Government (which is the purpose of the class and textbook in question). American Government can ONLY be taught from the facts, not from a biased point of view. When it IS taught from a biased view or to an audience/class that has inherent biases with no preparation for a clean discussion, you get stupid stories like this one.

From the standpoint of American Government, the issue here is the Supreme Court making a decision about an issue that is not specifically cited in the Constitution. A teacher (and a textbook) MUST make that connection. Now, if you want to ignite some debate with the students you can always ask for their opinions on the issues themselves (in this case, gay marriage). That will probably bring a lively discussion. But the authors of this textbook (James Wilson and John Dilulio) are correct - the root issue here is the Supreme Court deciding whether or not gay marriage is legal. Does anyone read the Constitution any more besides Ron Paul?! This type of issue is to be decided by the states, period.

Now, if one wants to make an argument that certain freedoms are being restricted and thus the Supreme Court needs to step in, then I can buy that argument if it’s made well. But the issue at hand here and as discussed in this textbook is one that is not inherently political. It’s a basic, fundamental discussion of how the American federal, judicial, and legislative system work together. Get over it.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did NOT use this textbook in my class on American Government that I taught last semester. I did, however, use a previous version of this text as a student at my ultra-liberal Graduate School. Also, I was sent an updated copy of this text by the publisher when I began teaching my course and I made the decision last semester to switch to the college version of the textbook in question.

Microsoft is hoping to duplicate the rabid success of Nintendo’s Wii by re-creating the Wii Remote for use with XBox 360. For all of the younger gamers out there, this is exactly what Microsoft did when it took over Netscape as the top internet browser in the late 1990’s and this is how Microsoft began to dominate the personal computer market.

Granted, I do not think this will be successful because all of the bad things about Microsoft and Windows (poor customer support, extremely high prices for a mediocre product, and unexplained stall-outs on the hardware) are present on the XBox 360 and gamers are famously fickle about such issues. However, this is pretty pathetic. The gaming division at Microsoft lumped all of its hopes in bigger and better, but much like their personal computing division, they didn’t ask the consumer what they wanted. The same problem happened with Sony and the miserable sales performance of PlayStation 3.

Nintendo created a new gaming experience at a reasonable cost with a decent presentation and they’re decimating the competition. Will high-definition gaming take over the market at some point? Absolutely. But that time is not now nor is it in the near future. Gamers wanted something new that didn’t cost them a sizable portion of their paychecks and Nintendo delivered. No fake XBox 360 wand will be able to replace that fact.

But it’ll be fun to watch Microsoft try…

The Georgia chapter of the NAACP is questioning the sentences handed down to those two bimbos in the infamous “Barbie Bandits” bank heist cases. They are questioning why the two young white women received less harsh sentences than the two black men involved in the case.

In an attempt to save the great state of Georgia - and its hardworking taxpayers - some money, let me quote from the CBS article linked above:

Michael Chastang, 28, was sentenced to 10 years for being the mastermind of the robbery, and bank teller Bennie Allen III, 23, who pleaded guilty, was sentenced to five years. Both men are black. Chastang also is serving 15 years on unrelated drug-trafficking charges and Allen was on probation for a drug conviction.

So one of these fellows had additional drug-trafficking charges on his plate and the other one was on probation for a prior drug conviction. The dopey blondes did not have any such prior or contingent records. Is there really a need for an investigation here? If you commit a crime and then commit ANOTHER crime, your penalty is harsher - bottom line.

Geez, some people are just stupid…

Found this e-mail from about two years ago buried in my “saved e-mails” folder. I got a kick out of reading it again - I hope you do, too!

Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”

Ha ha ha! Go Chelsea!

More jokes from the archive. I’ve deleted some 150 e-mails so far and there are only a few thousand left to go - so keep checking back!

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair and Morris said, “Esther, I am 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter now, I might never get another chance.” Esther replied, “Morris, that helicopter is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “I’ll make you a deal. I will take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you. But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.”

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed.”

Morris replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”

Ha ha ha! Terrible humor, but funny!

This e-mail has been sitting in my mail folder for almost a year. It’s called, “They Walk Among Us,” and it refers to the many completely clueless people that are out there in this world. For those of you that have seen the movie Idiocracy, this is the beginning of the end!

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again…same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
—— They Walk Among Us

I walked into a Mickey D’s with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said “buy one-get one free.” “They’re already buy-one-get-one-free”, she said, “so I guess they’re both free” She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
——They Walk Among Us

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, “Look at that dead bird!” Someone looked up at the sky and said, “Where?”
——They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, “Does the sun rise in the north?” When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, “Oh I don’t keep up with that stuff.”
—— They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, “The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, “Uh, Pacific.”
—— They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
—— They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
—— They Walk Among Us!

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. “Now,” she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?”
—— They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”
—— They Walk Among Us!

The sad thing is that we all know people like this…dummies.

Again, as I’m cleaning out some old e-mails I’m coming across some pretty interesting ones. The first military quote below has been confirmed by Snopes.com while the other two are not on their site. It would be nice if the valor, honor, and truth of these statements carried through all discussions regarding the American military (no matter where one falls on the political spectrum). Enjoy!

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building’ by George Bush.He answered by saying, “Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.”

It became very quiet in the room.

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying “Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?”

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: “Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?”

Once again, dead silence.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, ‘whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.’ He then asked, ‘Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?’ Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied ‘Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.’

You could have heard a pin drop!

Zing!

As I am cleaning out some old e-mails, here is a joke that was forwarded to me a few months ago. There is an anti-Muslim connotation in the joke, but it’s one of those jokes where you can replace “Muslim” with any religious denomination (Roman Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, etc). Anyway, when you look at it for just being a joke, it’s pretty funny.

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond. The Amishman shouts: “Trink das Wasser nicht. Die Kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.”

(Which means : “Don’t drink the water the cows have shit in it.”)

The man shouts back: “I’m a muslim, I don’t understand. Please speak in English.”

The Amishman says: “Use two hands,.You’ll get more”!

Enjoy!

Just thought I’d add a comment that passed through my head this morning as I was driving to work. Do you ever find yourself in the left lane (the fast lane) and you’re moving along at a regular pace until you come to a car that is going about ten miles below the limit?

Happens all of the time in New Jersey (especially on I-195). Well, I understand that some people don’t drive as fast as others, but what always confuses me is that sometimes you get the person in front of you to switch into the slower, right lane and then they speed up! I generally coast along with my cruise control so I know that I don’t slow down - what gives?

When you are essentially bumped out of the fast lane and forced to switch into the slow lane, why the hell would you speed up in the slow lane?! Geez, if you had been going that fast to begin with you wouldn’t have been bumped into the slower lane!

New Jersey.