Thank God for the American federal government! What other organization can bring so many people so many laughs in one fell swoop? You may remember that a few days ago, the government was thinking about sending each taxpayer an $800 check (married couples would obviously receive $1,600). Well, in a move that only our ridiculous government could make, they’ve decided that instead of each taxpayer getting $800, they’ll probably get $300 instead. The reasoning is that the $800 per person economic stimulus package would have only given checks to the 180 million or so Americans who pay income tax. The $300 per person economic stimulus package allows for all Americans to receive a check, including those who don’t make enough to pay income taxes.

In other words…

For those taxpayers who earn higher incomes in the middle class of America, not only are you going to continue to bear the brunt of this country’s weakening economy, but you’re also not going to get the same proportional handout that those in the lower class will receive. For a person who is making so little that he or she doesn’t pay income taxes, $300 is a big deal and really can help in getting a person out of financial rut.

But for the rest of the people who do pay taxes and who are living in the middle class, a $300 check from the government to “stimulate” the economy is bullshit. All $300 does for anyone in middle class America is remind you how screwed you are in the bigger picture. Those who don’t need the $300 will disagree with that statement, but those who needed the $800 will not only agree – they’ll get pissed since $800 isn’t even enough for most people to make one month’s mortgage payment.

We’re all screwed.