Mike Judge, the creator of Beavis and Butthead as well as King of the Hill, brings the world of 2505 to life with 2006’s Idiocracy. Going into this movie I had only heard about the plot and wondered if it could be any good as a comedy. After watching the movie, I have to say that Judge does a great job and that it’s a shame that this comedy hasn’t gotten wider coverage because not only is it funny, but there is some demented message that we all should be very wary of, too!

The gist of the movie is that sometime in the early 21st Century (now), the dumb people of the world just started procreating like crazy while the smart folks waited because the market was bad, their particular situation was bad, or they just couldn’t “perform” in bed. This led to the acceleration of Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” doctrine, but in favor of the morons and not the smart people.

What does this create? A world full of people who don’t know what to do with their garbage, can’t comprehend anything other than grunts and minimal phrases, and use the equivalent of Gatorade to water their crops (which all - surprisingly - are dead). Throw in a former UFC fighter as President of America and the #1 TV channel being named the “Violence Channel” and you’ve got Mike Judge’s 2505.

I won’t go into the details about how Vince Vaughn is transported from 2005 to 2505 or how he and Maya Rudolph get along in the future, but I will say that this movie is hilarious to anyone who knows a real dumb person. You know the person I’m referencing. The one who goes, “Hey guys, I have a story.” And then proceeds to tell a story that is so God-awfully boring you want to kick him in the shin.

And I hate to say this because I really do admire the jobs that police officers do, but the cops in 2505 are so close to some of the police officers that I know here in 2005 that it’s scary. Thank God my hometown of Roxbury doesn’t have any police like this, which is more than I can say for some of the fools that I had to deal with while I was a college student…

But I digress. With a running time of 84 minutes, Idiocracy is a great movie to watch on a weekend afternoon if you’re looking for a laugh. I recommend it.

This is the first season that I attempted to watch all of these three shows. I admit that I only watched the auditions of American Idol and that I’ve sparingly watched anything thereafter, but I wanted to make a few comments on the state of network television these days.

Lost is almost completely unwatchable at this point. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes, but I heard that the original people behind it left the show or something - I don’t know. However, it’s absolutely amazing the downward spiral that this show has been on. In case you haven’t seen it yet, the latest episode showed the survivors unknowingly burying two other survivors alive. What was most disturbing about this episode wasn’t the fact that people were seemingly killed for no reason, but that the storyline did not progress one bit. What a joke.

This used to be major “must see TV” for pretty much everyone. Now? It’s something you TiVo and watch when you get a chance - or you just watch it at ABC.com.

Twenty-Four, on the other hand, is great. This is the first season that I’ve actually watched it and despite some glitches in the storyline (isn’t it a little convenient that President Palmer woke up from his induced coma and is completely fine to resume the Presidency?), the show is very watchable. At some point, I’ll be sure to watch the first few seasons of 24, but for now - I’ll take this version of CTU dominating everyone any night of the week. It’s good stuff.

American Idol is great because of what the internet media is doing with Sanjaya Malakar. The fact that Vote for the Worst and Howard Stern are making a media superstar out of Sanjaya is absolutely awesome! I like the fact that this kid - who has about as much talent as you could expect from any high school drama student - is still involved in the show. It’s like William Hung actually made it to the fan-voting part of the show and is now getting major support.

Whether this guy is getting sympathy support or just a bunch of people who want to “ruin” American Idol by having the kid who is clearly the worst singer win, we can never truly know. But we do know that once Vote for the Worst and Howard Stern got behind Sanjaya, he moved right up the ranks. Makes for good television.

This is also my first season of watching Scrubs, which I really only watch because I have my DVR set to record it when it comes on Thursday nights. That’s not to say that I don’t think the show is hilarious - it’s great. Zach Braff is a genius and the rest of the cast is just perfect for their roles. Whoever did the casting for that show should be given a bunch of awards.

What I like about Scrubs is that I picked up and began watching the show in whatever season they are in now and this led me to watching the reruns of Scrubs on Comedy Central and FOX and its like I’ve been watching the show since it began. It’s one of those shows where you can jump in at any time and be right there, involved in the overall storyline of the show. Good stuff…really good, comedic television.

In any event, that’s where I think those shows are at right now. Lost needs some serious help before its even worth considering as a major “must see” show again, but the other three shows are all good to watch for different reasons. I recommend the last three shows if you’re not busy on a Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday night.

This was my first experience with an audiobook and right now I’m so-so on whether or not this was a good “reading” experience. Yes, I like the fact that someone is reading to me and its more of a story format, but it’s very easy to have your mind wander when your eyes aren’t focused on letters on a page.

Anyway, I won’t let that experience detract from my review of the story nor will I let the fact that this book is linked to the now-failed ABC series “Lost” jade my view. In fact, while “Lost” is literally a lost cause at this point (come on - they’re burying people alive now and we’re supposed to care one way or the other?), this book - written by the fictional Gary Troup (get it? It’s the word “purgatory” all scrambled up) - wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. For those of you that care, Gary Troup is supposed to be the guy who is sucked into the turbine on the beach in the first episode of “Lost.” And for the rest of you who care, the book was actually written by Laurence Shames.

It’s the story of a private detective named Artisan who takes on a job from the Widmore family who is searching for their lost son and brother, Zander. This ridiculous name is short for Alexander (shouldn’t it be Xander, then?) who is supposed to be the “bad twin” between him and his brother, Clif Widmore. You can almost predict the entire story once you get the basics down - Clif turns out to be a bastard, Zander turns out to be a good guy, the nice guy Artisan winds up with the girl, etc, etc.

When I finished listening to this book, I wanted to give it some time to digest. Well, it’s been digested and there is really nothing crazy about the story or the characters. I will give Shames the fact that he does some good character development throughout the novel, but the story itself is just blah. Almost like a “who cares” type of story.

Lost is incorporated into the story via the Hanso Foundation. There is a member of the board of the Widmore group who is from the Hanso Foundation. Deep connection…really…

I suppose if you have the opportunity to get your iPods on a free copy of this audiobook like I did, then go for it. Otherwise, don’t bother.

Rocky Balboa was released on DVD yesterday, and naturally I picked it up on my way home from work. When it became a reality that Rocky 6 was actually going to happen I think everyone had the same thought, “Oh no, please Sly not another one.” I mean let’s face it, the last movie was abysmal, and at the time that was 16 years ago. After hearing a couple interviews with Sly and seeing the trailer for the film, my opinion changed. It seemed that the reason he wanted to do it was to redeem himself for the crap called Rocky V. By my account, and most others, he sure did redeem himself and then some. This was not an oscar caliber movie, but it brought Rocky back to his roots, just an everyday guy from South Philly filled with heart and courage. It brought us back to what made Rocky so fantastic, trying to prove he belonged, even when noone around him thought he did. You always hear stories about how the first movie changed peoples lives, it gave them hope. That message was somewhat lost after all the sequels and all the campiness that followed.

I love Rocky, I love Rocky II, I enjoy Rocky III and Rocky IV based soley on the fact that it’s Rocky. Plus anytime one man, and a boxer at that, can single handedly end the Cold War it has to be an entertaining movie. But V, ugh, it’s just so bad that it’s almost hard to watch at times. At this point the only good thing that came out of it was the fact that he felt the need to do this film because of how bad V was.

Anyone who is a fan of the Rocky movies needs to see this movie. You’ll feel better about the whole franchise if you do. Anyone who is from the Philadelphia area needs to see this movie as it shows the city beautifully. This film, like Rocky himself, is all heart and once again proves that you can achieve your dream if you believe, if you never give up. It provided the perfect closure for the franchise, (christ even Spider Rico makes an appearance). So, thank you Sly for having the proper send off to Rocky and making us all forget about that trainwreck called Rocky V. “Yo Sly, you did it!”

One of my roommates and I watched “Unknown” during the snow in last night and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I thought it would have been bad because it was an independent film that I figured would have a twisted plot and I was partly right. I say I was partly right because my automatic first assumption was that since the main character was played by James Caviezel, the independent film makers would want to make him evil at his core (Jim is best known for his awesome portrayal of Jesus in “The Passion of the Christ”). I was right about that (though some may want to argue whether or not it was because liberals made the movie) - however I was not right that the movie would be bad.

The movie is called Unknown because the main characters basically have no idea what the hell is going on. Apparently there was a struggle and they are all sitting there slowly waking up in an industrial type of building and remembering bits and pieces of their lives. As they wake up and move around the building, they realize that they’re locked in (it’s never fully explained why they are locked into the building) and that they are either kidnappers or kidnap victims.

There is a second, related plot that deals with the police in the outside world who are trying to find the kidnap victims - but that doesn’t go anywhere until the very end of the movie.

What I think the writers were trying to go for with the bulk of the movie was to show each of the men who are locked in this large warehouse as a regular human being. They succeed in this measure for the most part, though they forget some minor parts of each person’s story and they really don’t give too much of a back story to Joey Pants (from Sopranos fame).

The twist at the end of the movie (and you’ll probably not want to read from this point forward if you haven’t seen the movie and plan on seeing it) is that Jim Caviezel is made out to be a bad kidnapper, but turns out to be an undercover cop. Then, in the last minutes of the movie, it’s revealed that he masterminded a plot to kidnap one of the “good guys” because he was having an affair with that guy’s wife.

His course in the movie takes him from being neutral, then somewhat good, then somewhat bad, then really good, but ultimately really bad. It’s a good plot and it’s well done in what is obviously a low-budget film (which is one of the things I really liked about the movie). But, at least for me, it was predictable from the get go in that I knew the main character would ultimately be a villain. Don’t all independent films sorta have that progression with the good guy main character?

If you’ve got a Blockbuster rental laying around and you’re looking for a decent movie to watch that is a bit off the beaten, Hollywood path, then I suggest renting this movie. You’ll enjoy the plot twists (unless you just read it above) and you’ll enjoy watching the story progress.

This was one of the best shows on television up until the morons at FOX decided to cancel it last year. And what did they replace it with? That’s right - stupid shows like “til Death” and “The Wedding Bells.” It’s a God-damned shame. But that’s what FOX TV does - they cancel shows that are absolutely amazing. *cough* Family Guy & Futurama *cough*

Anyway, before this show was cancelled it was one of the most critically-acclaimed sitcoms in the last ten years - matching even Seinfeld’s early hysteria and cult fan base. After watching the first season (again), it’s easy to see why.

This show is absolutely hilarious! From Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) and her snide remarks to all of her children to George Michael Bluth (Michael Cera) and his confusion over whether or not to pursue a relationship with his cousin - it all just falls into place perfectly. As I wrote earlier on this blog, there are some people that watch the show and go, “I don’t get it.” My suspicion is that some dingbat at FOX had that reaction after watching the first show and then just said, “Cancel it.” However, after you watch the first two or three episodes, you “get” what is going on and it’s absolutely brilliant to watch.

The camera work for the show is also great as is the show’s use of the same flashback clips throughout the entire season (this carries into the second season, too).

Arrested Development’s basic story is the story of a rich, privileged family who literally has it all, but loses it when the family patriarch is sent to prison during his retirement party. The problem? Well, besides squandering company funds, there is a chance he may have “committed some light treason” by building housing developments in Iraq. The timeliness of this show (at the time it was aired) is unbeatable, but that’s another story. The plot is made all the better by the fact that the entire family is completely clueless and oblivious to everyday life.

What holds them all together? That would be the prodigal son, Michael Bluth.

Michael, who is masterfully played by Jason Bateman of 1980’s/1990’s sitcom “The Hogan Family,” is the glue that holds the family together as they are subjected to a federal probe. On top of that chore, he also is trying to raise his son, George Michael Bluth, better than he was raised by his father. While he is generally a good father, it’s fun to see him stumble over his words every once in a while and to watch him completely ignore some of his son’s most basic wants and needs.

The story works so well because it is written so well. Without the amazing writing, the show could really fall apart. Again, it’s a shame that this award-winning show was taken off of television too early, but that’s the history of FOX and TV shows that the fans and critics both love. Why couldn’t they put this show on FX? Lord knows it would have been the best show on the entire channel! Eh, I digress.

I highly suggest going out and buying the first season of Arrested Development. Yes, buy it and don’t rent it because I guarantee that once you “get” what is going on, you’ll want to watch the series over and over again.

Once upon a time I worked at a hotel in Ocean Grove. The best part of the job wasn’t the weirdo jerk who I worked for, it was getting to know the people who lived and owned other inns and hotels in Ocean Grove. They’re really nice folks over there (most of them). Anyway, a group of the innkeepers (not the jerk who I had the unfortunate displeasure of working for) got together and thought of a bunch of great ideas to get tourists to the town during the fall, winter, and early spring months. One of their new events is a “Wellness Weekend” that takes place all over the small, one-square mile town.

For the dudes out there - this might not be for you. However, it DEFINITELY is something that you want to tell your sister, mother, daughter, or girlfriend about. In fact, it might make a really great gift if you paid for the expenses for the weekend for one of the lovely ladies in your life…

Below is the latest update on the weekend from the folks over at the Ocean Grove Record:

On Saturday and Sunday, April 28th and 29th, the historic and beautiful seaside village of Ocean Grove, NJ will host its annual Wellness Weekend.

Sponsored by the Ocean Grove Area Chamber of Commerce, this public event brings together all aspects of the town - Camp Meeting (The Youth Temple), Inns, Restaurants, Merchants, and Francis Asbury Manor – to provide the most hospitable environment for our visitors’ total spiritual, physical and emotional well-being. The hours of the days’ activities are: Saturday from 9am to 6pm and Sunday from 12:30pm to 4:30pm. All events are open to the public.

An extremely wide range of lectures, medical information, screenings and “hands-on” workshops are all part of the weekend goal of offering the most cutting edge education in holistic and traditional care for the mind, body and spirit. We have chosen from among the most admired practitioners in their fields to present lectures on the following topics: “Why Wellness Doctoring”, “Adolescent Behavior Issues”, The Natural Process of Childbirth and Midwifery”, “Medical Weight Loss Techniques”, Breast Cancer Prevention and Care”, “Child Nutrition: Obesity and Diabetes”,” Infertility Questions” and “The Benefit of Natural Vitamins”.

Spinal Screenings, body composition analysis, and blood pressure readings will be among many free offerings. Representatives from a vast array of holistic and wellness practitioners, medical centers and retail products will be present at their tables to provide educational and contact information for both services and products.

“Natural” cooking and tea demonstrations will be fun as well as practical.

“Hands-on” classes will be provided in a myriad of modalities: yoga, reiki, reflexology, stretching, pilates, various types of massage, tai chi, zero-balancing, facial rejuvenation, and morning runs on the boardwalk are amongst activities planned.

Feng Shui for your home, hypnosis and aura readings are offered as well. Francis Asbury Manor will host a number of activities including the centering Labryinth walk. The Camp Meeting will lead individuals and small groups in traditional prayers. A beautiful flute concert is planned for the end of the day Saturday.

While all activities are open to the public, there is a suggested $5 donation per day during registration at the Youth Temple. This will cover all lectures, education and product information and the evening concert.

Complimentary bus service will be available from the Youth Temple to Francis Asbury Manor. Each workshop practitioner will have the right to charge a nominal fee for participation in their class. The fee will be posted.

Most of our Restaurants, Inns and Merchants have special activities or promotions planned, so look for these. Also as Sunday morning, April 28 is the New Jersey Marathon in Long Branch, a number of rooms in town have already been booked, so please plan accordingly.

Our full program, bios and schedule should be posted soon. Please note that changes can occur up to the last day. For more detailed information contact Nancy at The Sea Spray 732-897-0770 or nlbg@aol.com.

The idiot at FOX who decided to cancel Arrested Development needs to be fired and shunned from the industry starting immediately. How can people NOT be in love with this show? I just got done watching a the first two seasons and I can’t believe that some asshole in some office somewhere actually said, “You know what? Cancel this show.”

What the fuck was that idiot doing?!

This is, by far, the funniest show to come across FOX TV in the last 15 years! Between Jason Bateman, Jessica Walter, Jeffrey Tambor, Will Arnett - I mean the entire cast is incredible! Sure, I understand that some people watch the show and say, “I don’t get it.” But that’s the beauty of watching the first few episodes. Once you “get it,” the show becomes one of the best things on television!

I think that my two favorite characters are Jessica Walter’s “Lucille Bluth” and Michael Cera’s “George-Michael Bluth.” They’re both hilarious because of the side remarks that they make all of the time. From Lucille’s “not for you” when walking by her extremely skinny daughter when she’s in front of food to George Michael’s constantly trying to correct whoever is talking to him while laughing through his words, it’s fucking brilliant.

And since it seems from this article that the show is as good as done with no chance of the creator coming back to series, let’s hope that at least the moron who cancelled the show get fired and shunned from the television industry.

Once again, our idiot lawmakers in New Jersey (both locally and at the state-level) have overreacted to the “storm” that is pummeling the Garden State. Sure, there are some major snow issues going on right now in north and northwest New Jersey, but there is nothing going on besides some rain and some light, small hail in the central part of the state.

But that didn’t stop the politicians from calling out the plow trucks. I get to drive one glorious hour to Trenton every morning and another exhausted hour back home to Deal each afternoon. On my way into the office today I saw no less than 20 plow and salt trucks standing at bay on Route 195.

Now some jerk out there is going to say, “Hey asshole! We need those trucks out there for when it starts to snow like a mother this afternoon and tonight.” And I would agree with that jerk - that we need these trucks out there this afternoon and tonight! There is ABSOLUTELY no reason for 20+ trucks to standing idle (that means engines on) on 195 right now. Nor was there a reason for this at six o’clock this morning, which was undoubtedly the time that they were called to get out there and get ready. Oh, and why were the engines on in the trucks? Well, to keep the guy inside the truck warm - you know, the guy who is getting paid time and a half right now.

So we have gas being guzzled up by these diesel engines, resources (salt) being wasted, and at least 20+ guys that I saw this morning (and who knows how many more in other parts of the state where it’s not snowing) getting paid time and a half from 6am until who knows when. And what is this all for? No, it’s not the usual craze that takes over the average New Jerseyan when they hear about a winter storm coming.

It’s bloated local and state governments that are so afraid of losing funding for next year’s winter that they spend all that they can this winter to at least match next year’s expense. Remember this when your local taxes go up next year. Remember that we had an EXTREMELY mild winter with a one-day ice storm on St. Valentine’s Day and an occasional snow storm. Remember that there was NO reason to spend the amount of money that was spent this year on winter storms.

Oh, and just for an extra kick in the ass, remember that the tax money you’re paying is going to the guy getting time and a half while sitting in the snow plow on Route 195 with his engine on from 6am to 2pm…when it’s raining out.

But hey, keep voting for Democrats in this state, I’m sure things will change eventually, right?

I’m here at work listening online to WMMR’s Preston and Steve Morning Show, which by the way is by far the greatest morning show ever, and Lisa Lampanelli is a guest. My god is she fantastic. Noone is off limits, she rips into everyone, and not little shots here and there, ohhhh no she absolutely just destroys people. It is absolutely outstanding. Bravo you fat whore, you are terrific!